where is my one day old spotted tiger?

Today after work I walked Pickles after getting totally bundled up. It was kind of raw outside. I was happy with the walk, though, after putting on the heavy sweater and heavy LL Bean jacket. Recently I was looking through my mother's pics and there is a pic of me with a less than one year old Sal on my back in one of those baby back packs and I was wearing that ol' green jacket, the same ol' green jacket from LL Bean. The thing works hard and now it's older than 15 yrs old. Good ol' jacket.

After the walk I went upstairs to put on play clothes and take off the stiff school clothes (i.e. brassiere) and after pulling on jeans and my new tee shirt I landed in bed. It was pretty nice and as I drifted off I heard Peretz down on the first floor bark bark barking and I could hear Pickles tearing around the house like a maniac which he often does after coming in from a walk. He'll start in the living room by the wood stove and run across the room to the hallway and run up the three steps to the first stairway landing and pant there for a few beats and then take off, running back the same way, at his top speed for inside the house and I could hear his feet on the floor scratching and scraping and running across the wood floor and it sounded very particular and idiosyncratic and meanwhile Peretz was bark bark bark. If someone was illustrating a dog barking, as a demonstration of the form of dog barking the picture would show Peretz with a word balloon which reads "bark" and that would be exactly him.

I heard all of this so loud and clear from the comfort of my bed and I heard Pickles take off again on his running route and I laughed out loud. I did not LOL but I did lay there in my jeans and comfortable tee shirt on my bed and I laughed out loud at the noise the dogs were making in the Bricker downstairs and at the dependability of them and their antics and their noises. Then I fell asleep.

One Step Forward is all that is expected

Sometimes Puppies Seem To Have Big Paws

People Make Me Laugh

Big Pink Pillow
Sunsets with Flower Buds
Dread, Resignations and
Other People's Triple Word Scores


On Facebook I read two comments tonight from women I know-well, one I know well and one I know peripherally. The woman I know well I love but sometimes do not like and the woman I know peripherally I find grotesque -on the inside and on the outside- and their comments I found completely superficial and self important. They dropped names and told stories which does nothing but seem to enhance their coolness- except to people like me who see through the guise keenly and skeptically and now I feel supercilious and resultingly self debasing because I would even have those judgmental thoughts flit through my mind.

"Are there any windows in here?"

the assessor from my mortgage company came and looked through the house, taking pictures! and making notes so that she can go back and (hopefully) tell the company the house is worth more than 90$ thou so that I can get that pmi (private mortgage insurance) taken off my monthly mortgage payment. it actually adds up to 50$ a month that I pay for that shit!!!
i think my house is well worth more than 90$ at least the other bank thought so when they gave me a home equity loan. i told the (nice) lady that i had all new replacement windows (even in the basement!), a new boiler (well, from 2002 anyway) a new roof, new bathroom tile, etc etc. i forgot to tell her about the new chimney (argh!)

She was nice, thank goodness, because she and i travelled around the Bricker for twenty minutes, her making drawings of the floor plan and hopefully taking pictures which show how lovely the house is, me being charming as can be. She was nonplussed by the room on the second floor which was soundproofed but enthusiastic about the pantry, even in its current state of chaos. "that's ok, though, it's a pantry!" "yeah, but I can't find my muffin pan!" I complained.

There is a cellphone on the Bricker's front lawn, thrown there by some errant knave.

blurb...up to minute news from Greenfield, MA

there was a cat-a dead cat in front of the elks club, lying on the grass between the sidewalk and the street. I could only see his large furry gray and white legs and some tail because the top 2/3rds of its body was covered with a nice quilted blanket. It was a large cat, at first glance i thought it was a small terrier-type dog but then i realized it was lying still, under the blanket and then I realized it was a dead cat. It was kind of strange.

distraction

When i was on the vineyard getting over a bad date or whatever, i often watched ww2 movies or that south park movie to distract me from the pain. After I became the only one living in the Bricker, I watched a lot of Buffy to dull that experience. Now I distract myself again with amusing stories up on the screen. This time it is Battlestar Galactica. It's pretty interesting.



My mother
His mother




mother mother blah blah mother

Happy, sad, okay, sad, not bad, sad...

When I was a kid and I was up and about, doing stuff around the house or whatever, and my mom was in bed sleeping while I was up, always made me feel funny. It was never right when she was sleeping (during the day) and I was awake. Of course this changed as I got into my teens and stayed up late watching tv. That was different. But when I was a kid during the few times she slept in or took a nap not on the couch I was always a little weirded out.

Education Reform

Just in time for Kid-say, "oh yeah!"