Saturday, June 30, 2007

When I was young..

I never broke a bone. I burned my toe on a hot coal, I squirted hydrochloride acid into my eye but never had a cast. Last year I fell down my bedroom stairs and sprained/broke a toe pretty bad. Those stairs got me again. Last Tuesday I lost it on the bottom 3 and found myself with feet flapped back and knees scraped. I though, ow, and wanted to tear up but the tears didn't start until after I was fully dressed and ready to go to work and I realized I couldn't walk out to my car. A day later, after hearing, "Did you go to the doctor?" enough, I finally did and found out that I fractured my...tibia? They sent me along to an orthopedic doctor who did another xray and showed me the break. ow. it gave me the willies just looking at it.

The doctor told me to put no weight onto the ankle and it would take 12-twelve-weeks to heal. That is an outside guessitmate, right? There is no way I could be feeling like this until September way.

I'm just sitting around drinking too much and having a little retail therapy in the bobblehead section of ebay. I need more female bobbleheads. There used to be some Hillary Clinton bobbleheads but not no more, rats.

And I thought I was isolated before.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

When I was young, I never needed anyone...

Hatfield restaurant burns in 'Holy Smoke'
Posted by The Republican Newsroom June 21, 2007 07:56AM

HATFIELD - An early morning fire has apparently destroyed the Holy Smokes BBQ and Whole Hog House restaurant on Routes 5 and 10, state police said today.

The call for help came into state police at 3:30 a.m., according to state police in Northampton, whose barracks are one mile south of the restaurant.

The restaurant, on a section of the state highway known as West Street, appears to be completely burned out, he said.

Traffic is flowing slowly through a single lane on that section of Route 5 as firefighters continue to work at the scene, he said.

Besides the Hatfield Fire Department, firefighters from Northampton, Sunderland, Whately, and Deerfield helped to battle the blaze, police said.

The restaurant opened two years ago, and has earned a reputation for barbecued ribs.

State police said the place appears to have been destroyed by the fire. He said the cause of the fire has yet to be determined.

Housed in a deconsecrated church, Holy Smokes is run by partners Seth Crawford, Leslie and Lou "Papalu" Ekus.

The restaurant, at the corner of Church Street in West Hatfield, featured pews, recycled as parts of dining-room booths and oversized pig sculptures overhead.

Last year a fire burned down my friend's restaurant, A Bottle Of Bread, and we are all still recovering from it. It was a place people loved. I remember when I first moved to the area Sal and I would go and sit on the porch and be a family by the Deerfield River with the future bright bright bright. Sal and Frank and I went to Thanksgiving there before the fire...just weeks before the Dec 2005 fire and it was a happy happy time.

Well, the brave proprietress of A Bottle is now brushing off her chinos and putting a new restaurant together here in Greenfield which is almost reason enough to stay in the area. Bravo, Maggie. But then today I saw this horrible news about another one of my favorite restaurants being struck down. (see above news clipping)

I haven't been to Holy Smokes since the break up. F + I would go there almost every fortnight if not more often. The whole place stunk of our relationship so I was never quite able to recoup my ownership of the barbeque joint. Now, I see that it is burned down and I had never gone back. I miss it.

When I was a kid, my parents decided to move from the city of Syracuse into the suburbs of North Syracuse and they were very excited about their favorite restaurant being nearby their new home. A week before we all relocated to the suburbs, the place burned down.

Is it me?

Monday, June 18, 2007

deliciously dismal

This serial monogamist (the one writing this blog) is sometimes worried about living the rest of her life alone. I have a lot of love to give and I'm choosy about where it goes. Sometimes I'm pretty sad. Sometimes I am sad and it's pretty. Like when I listen to Harry and the above.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Summer doesn't matter to me

Once a little while ago I smelled some really lovely Spring air and I was somewhat pleased for a few moments. Now, almost every day I remain sad and sluggish and a little bit ill and I don't really care about the weather or the season or anything that could be construed as happy or hopeful. I just don't have either.

Last night I dreamed about an exboyfriend. We were in a strange hotel room, I'm not sure why. For a little while, we made conversation about this and that and other niceties but it felt strained and of course it would, we haven't talked/chatted or anything for about two years. Finally in the dream he admitted that his current lover was hideous to him and this situation wasn't getting any better. At this point it became obvious to us both that we couldn't keep our hands to home and the kisses started with a torrent. The dream ended before the situation got much more heated. I don't know if I like the dream or not..I wasn't all hot and bothered in a good way when I woke up and although it felt good to be desired (in dream life), it was abruptly unreal.

I just heard a poem on the radio about the lovely of Summer and I really don't care. I am filled with anxiety and sadness constantly. I cannot stir from this mindset.