Thursday, January 31, 2008

Slight Disagreement with DbR about Donuts

See Jan 31 post by David. For a quick reference, click on "this week's dark obsession" link to the left. yeah, over there. that's right.
I don't think the buttercrunch really is "spectacular". Sure, it's good, but it lacks a certain crunchiness. The glaze around the donut is crunchy with a small sprinkling of nuttiness but not the comprehensive nutcover that I would like.
I'm not saying I want wall to wall nuts like the crap cardboard buttercrunch of DD but I could use a little bit more crunchy nuttiness.
I will post further when I find the form of buttercrunch donut.
Meanwhile, he mentions the maple frosted raised donut which I feel deserves more lauding than he gave. The whole maple frosted genre of donuts deserves a following not unlike Jesus Christ's following, circa...shoot, when was he most popular? Ok, I lost the thread of that parallel but for christ's sake go out right now, get in your car and seek out fried dough with a maple frosting. you won't regret it. And, may I mention that Adams Donuts only had one maple frosted donut left when we arrived there to purchase at 8:55 am? 'nough said.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Coffee is for Closers

I know, I'm not funny but on the other hand I think I'm fucking hilarious. I'm sorry. I's not funny, but it is hilarious. Ok, I said that already. I swear, I am sensitive and loving but I have to laugh at myself and the world and, yes, you too, sweetie.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Very Selfish Lady

I'm involved with someone who has an extensive collection of photos on a flickr account and a very vibrant blog and I'm finding that as he and I become more and more caught up in each other's lives, his previous life of blogging and flickr has changed a bit in their scope and content. There have been comments and blogs all attributed to the pros and cons of his changing world wide web presence and I can't help but feel a little responsible.

Little did I know that a month ago or so when I first met this guy and started chasing him with the sole purpose of kissing and joking with him that there would be a ripple effect felt in the wide pool of his friends, acquaintances and web friends and acquaintances, not to mention family! Should I cut things off with this person so that he can get back to his internet good work? Am I destroying his artistic creativity with my company? For the good of all, should we separate? What a bizarre situation.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

"This torch that I found..."

There is a movie that is total schlock but I love it. I'm watching it right now and it makes me really happy. I should go: walk the dog, do my job, clean my room, etc. but I just want to sit here and watch Ray Liotta play Frank Sinatra.

Good ol' dog. He just wants to play and make it clear he is the stronger dog, the alpha dog. Peretz is not following that line of reason nor that dog-ssertation. He may not necessarily want to be alpha, he just wants to have his own space and quiet. He is a fine dog. I hope this struggle doesn't fuck him up.

I made 24x3 ginger cookies and a 2 layer chocolate cake. I think everything turned out okay. I hadn't actually baked in a long time..since before xmas. I had to buy a $12 mixer as mine had crapped out...a while ago. I can't remember when I broke that thing but it was the last time I made cookies and I don't remember when that was. I remember making the apple pies around Thanksgiving. I never made the cut out cookies for xmas so it must have been in November. Anyway, I was making the cake and with the handmixing I couldn't convince the butter to smooth out mix in. Then! after using it for the cake and then for the ginger cookie dough (kind of a heavyduty mixture) it started to get all engine-quitty on me during the frosting job. stupid $12 mixer. I was going to get the $18 black and decker but I could see that it didn't have the flat beaters which I favor, it only had the whisk-y type tube-y beaters.

I love how the Dean Martin character answers his wife when she asks, "Who do you talk to, tell your deep thoughts to?" He says: "In order to tell someone your deep thoughts, you have to have deep thoughts."

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Why are Men such Babies?

Did I ever blog here about how perfectly lovely my New Year's Eve was? I spent it with DbR who, in response to my request, made chicken soup and we had some nice times in front of the tv set which played Ginger Rogers/Fred Astaire movies and we had a nice time.

The reason I had requested chicken soup was because I felt like I was coming down with a cold, I was feeling a little stuffed up and wanted that yummy soup cure and it was great. I have been fighting off a form of congestion ever since. It comes and goes, sometimes I feel very stuffy and sometimes I feel pretty good, it is as if I have been balancing on the "could get a full-blown cold" fence all month.

Now, I have been pretty stoic about it. Since it never got really hellish-the worst has been while sleeping I couldn't get a whole breath because there is always a block of expectorate hanging around, like a curtain behind my face-I never really got to moaning and groaning and complaining too badly. Also, I wanted to please my new lover and no one likes a complainer.

Who's complaining now? The abovementioned companion has capitulated to some sort of bug and all I hear about from him is how awful he feels, waah waah waah. I really thought I was kind of a big baby but I am a tightlipped phlegmatic pioneer woman compared to this guy!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I have Grand Jury Duty tomorrow

I'm feeling a little bit trepidatious about my Grand Jury Duty tomorrow because I have only done the thing once and it was the first day and it was 2 weeks ago and now I need to go in there tomorrow morning and be the clerk and feel confident and not bored or distracted.

Actually, I feel better about the whole thing now simply because I typed out the above paragraph. I feel better but I am still a little bit on edge about it. I also kind of feel bored by the whole thing already. Strange.

In other news, I recieved my Lifetime Meatloaf Club Membership Card in my mailbox today from Hope + Olive. I hope I can live up to the expectations and lofty mission of the Meatloaf Club. I guess I'll have to start combing my hair or enjoying bread and ketchup sandwiches. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

goodnight moon

it's nice when love finds a silly lady with a round face. i wonder how that happens? monday night DbR left my house around 7:40 or so and my roommate asked me, "What are you going to do now that you are all alone?" and I was so annoyed because jesus, he's seen me here in this house every night all alone since he moved in last February! I muttered something along the lines of, "don't worry, i've had plenty of practice." and ignored him the rest of the night.

it's only been less than a month i've had someone to spend a part of every day with. i guess really it boils down to me using him for sex but he seems okay with it!

my bedroom skylight glitters with the moonlight on the icy window screen. it sure is pretty.

Monday, January 21, 2008

No one's ever satisfied

Last night I excitedly went to a local venue to be a local celebrity judge at a battle of the bands concert and really went to work on making sure my scores were fair and truthful, as well as I could.

I guess I wasn't so great because the guy who arranged the thing who "hired" me to be a judge is a little mad at me, I guess for my scoring. I feel bad but I know in my heart that I did the best I could, using the tools available to me. I scored each song numerically as they were played and averaged the scores to come up with the end result. My math is shown on the worksheets we handed in.

Maybe I was too tough on a band the guy who is mad at me really likes? Waah. I really like the arranger-guy and I don't want him to dislike me. I want to have his respect and admiration. This will blow over, I'm sure. I hate feeling the aggro, though.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Fill in the blanks, please

1. Today I've eaten ________________.
2. My underwear is ________________.
3. If I had to spend 24 hours locked in a Taco Bell bathroom with a famous or almost famous singer (dead or alive), I would choose ___________ because ________________.
4. Lauri, I don't like it when you ________________.
5. The last time I got drunk I ________________.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

calling DbR on his bullshit

so, I know this guy and he told me that he never eats in the morning, just drinks coffee, he even said that eating in the morning makes him want to vomit. So, I believed him, why wouldn't I?

We were just hanging around the kitchen, he and I, waiting impatiently for his pokey coffee machine to finish making our favorite elixir and I idly fetched myself a Elm Farm cider donut which I believe he had purchased in anticipation of our Saturday morning together and started to nosh while carefully portioning out the little bit of half and half my barbaric host had in the house this morning.

Soon, after, he followed suit, taking a donut up for himself and eagerly devoured it. What the heck? What happened to, "I don't eat in the morning, it makes me want to throw up."?

Friday, January 18, 2008

I guess it's worth a shot

My desk at work sits in the middle of a strange anteroom which has become the crossroads for 5-6 coworkers who's offices all stretch around me at different angles and generally are connected to the rest of the building through my "office" room to the snack room/hallway.

So, I can be distracted many times a day while sitting at my desk just by people going by to the bathroom or the snackroom or just by them leaving their areas. I like it sometimes because I am in on things that are happening but then sometimes I am very annoyed, like when people are caught in conversation in my hallway area and continue talking over my head, sometimes about work (annoying enough), sometimes about personal stuff (can be completely annoying, depending on the subject, sometimes about clients (hideously annoying)and do not keep moving along, out of my earshot. So, this is my plight.

Just now two nurse practitioners, people who are rarely in my area and even rarely together, were caught in the LMc work area vortex. They were talking about their own crap and it wasn't interesting but strangely enough, I wasn't 100% annoyed. I was actually a little bit turned on, goosebumps were raised on the back of my neck and I could feel the hair on the small of my back and forearms sort of do a little chilly thing that was very pleasant. I had a little shivery feeling and I liked it very much. I didn't want them to stop and go away. I slowly filled the envelopes with the checks and enjoyed the sensation for a good 10 minutes. I like it a lot. And I don't like too much.

After they finally broke it off, one of them asked me for some paperwork which is purely clinical in nature which I do not have one iota, not even the barest smidge to do with. I turned her away and tried to relive the shivery chill. Couldn't do it.

small conversation

"I think it's donut time. What do you got?" she asked a coworker who was munching on something out of a plastic bag.
"A rice cake." the woman answered casually
"Oh, god."

Happy Friday

Boy, what a week. Happily do not have grand jury duty today and super-happily, woke up to the sound of a neighbor snowplowing my sidewalk! hurraY! If only I can get off my ass and away from the computer to go shower and get to work. I really hope I can get a whole lot done at work today. This is me hoping for super extra industriousness today.

My schedule and hopes for this weekend changed 17 times over the past 48 hours. At this point it looks somewhat relaxing. I look forward to quiet times and raucous laughs with my new friend and stalwart companion DbR. Last night he almost decimated me at scrabble but Pickles was outraged at my sluggish vocabulary and exploded the board while pretending to chase after Harriet. (good dog) heh heh. There is an unfortunate residual effect to his devotion, however--an "L" is missing. DbR was very upset at this turn of events (he was beating me by a good 100 point margin and was about to scrabble) and fell into a major depression afterwards. I had to rub his back and assure him of his masterful gaming domain. He rebounded, seemingly.

Tonight bodes exciting and interesting at the very least and tomorrow it's dog on dog. I anticipate the meeting nervously.

In other news, my nose is running.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I meet people and sometimes it sticks

So, I like meeting guys who are good in bed (wink, nudge) who also cook. Sometimes they introduce me to fabulous foods and things of that nature which I've never heard of or known before. I love that. I love new things. Yay, smart new friends!

Yogurt Information

For those who snack on yogurt: The Luscious Lemon lofat Stonyfield is way tastier and richer than the Maple flavor, much to my surprise.
That is all.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Newsflash: Woman BLown Away By Lover's Comment

Work today-eh. I managed to break loose and come to Northampton. David was cooking dinner and listening to music, the lovely usual. I sat down at his table and demanded a drink while setting up some bobbleheads and donut fixtures. He accomodated me while continuing to cook and linger about the kitchen. I really love sitting at the little table in the little room. There is usually a bowl of garlic and olive oil with some bread sitting around for smart eaters. I show my brains.

After a little while he tells me about the spicy sausage he had in the oven, the sweet potato-onion-chile side dish and arugula I had to anticipate for our dinner. It appears and we joke about this and that while enjoying our food. Afterwards, Peretz asks for a walk and DbR rises to do his dog thing.

"Was the food up to standard?" He asked between after dinner kisses. I decided to be honest.

"It was delicious but the meat was a little overdone. I'm really sorry to say that.." I tried diplomacy but I have the reputation as the TruthNazi so what can I do?

"It was your sparkling personality that distracted me." He admitted. This blew my mind.

"What?" I stammered. "But I'm nothing and food to you is could I possibly rate in such a way?" I didn't know what to think, how to feel. David overcooked meat because of me? Is that my fault or his? How could he be so fallible? What the hell?

'cause I'd never want to make you change for me

Here it comes again. Sore throat. Snow on the roof. Dog outside whimpering. Good thing the coffee is reassuring. I'd like to go back to bed, feeling less than enthusiastic about being professional at this time.

I like karaoke, always have, always will. Dragged the boyf out last night to the Rendezvous. It was fun, the whole gang from Hope and Olive were there and I like my peops. They've successfully fooled me into believing they like me too. I'm okay with that. I sang Billy Squier's "Lonely is the Night" which had some enjoyable challenges. It was fun and seemingly amusing for the group to observe. After a little bit they let me come back up and sing another song. I sang Todd's "Hello, It's Me" which I have always wanted to do but never felt "vocally secure" enough to pull off. Last night I just went for it, believing my singing voice to have become sterling since falling in love recently and I managed it alright. Some of the lyrics felt right for the moment. Afterwards, I cruelly made fun of a goofball. That felt almost as satisfying.

Dog is running around with the Kong in his mouth. Snow is sliding off the roof. DbR has a pretty nice voice. Future looks good. Today is pretty nice too.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

photos of mineself: fact or fiction

I've been hanging pretty regularly with this guy who takes photos all the time, like, constantly...almost as a reaction to the world, this guy shoots digital bullets right and left. Of course, due to our proximity, I find myself featured in a fair amount of his (and his friend's) pics. Some of them are nice, some are okay and of course, some are hideous. I've even asked for editing priviledges, however minimally.

Finally, the odds were with me. Due to the sheer volume of his shooting, there comes the perfect picture of me. It shows my quirky okay looks, my quirky pleasant personality and the quirky art-loving writer/inquisitor part of me, which is the part of me that keeps me somewhat tolerable as a friend/fellow-human.

Here it is. Thanks, DbR

Looking at google earth

checking out the geography of assorted dreamy adventures DbR and I are planning for the next 12 months. It's nice. I like sitting around the house with him drinking coffee. Sure, it's not my favorite thing to do, but it sure is great. Dreaming up adventures for the 2 of us is also definitely up there in my top 5 activities to do with him at this time.

wow, I'm happy. What is up with that? wow. see how I'm happy?

Friday, January 11, 2008

Grand Jury Doodie

Come on down to the Franklin County Courthouse, we'll have a grand ol' time.

I found myself involved in a 3 month stint of Grand Jury Duty of which I can speak none, as it is (speaking in whisper) top secret! It was interesting though, and I am now an upstanding citizen of my berg.

conversation overheard in the ladies room:
First lady: "I thought they were going to go this courthouse over." at no answer, continues, "Remember, a couple of years ago, they made a big deal about it?"
Second lady: "Yeah, I read another article in the paper last week. They were going to get some money from the state, as if that is ever going to happen!"
First lady: "It's better than the one in Orange. But it's still..creepy."
Second lady: "It was built in 1954. It's as old as me."

After I heard this I wrote a poem on a postcard. Maybe some day I will share it with you but suffice it to recount that I profess love for older things instead of bright motherfucking new things.

That's all.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

sit down where it's comfortable

Let me tell you the story of the woman with the horrible singing voice who, when she finally found her true love at a ripe old age of 41, was able to vocalize so mellifluously that refridgerators stopped humming just so's they could listen...

It's awright, it's all right.

My lover was over last night and I made the tacos I usually make. It's funny, this dinner I made for myself over and over and over for the last couple years while I lived alone bought some joy to friends and pride to me. It's nice to be happy. This is happy, right?

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

wasn't beat so bad

Played scrabble with DbR for the first time tonight, with Roma too. I didn't win but I didn't lose and I actually followed in second by a reasonably competitive score.
Maybe some of the math I used while I was scoring was fudgy but we all had ate too many tacos to begin with.


A therapist just breezed by my desk and noticed the smallest twig of a spider plant in a small vase, trying to sprout roots. Referring to last summer and fall when I often brought in single smallish flowers and put them on the desk, also in the tiny vases, she commented on how much she loved my minimalist plant life. I smiled and thanked her, appreciating the kudos for sure because I too, love the small and that is why I have the small.

"But then, look up at this." She said, gesturing to the cork board that expands above and by my head and over the desk. It was strewn with all sorts of bright and big, photos, drawings, candy boxes and work-related charts and graphs. "It's quite the dichotomy." I looked up at my bulletin board. I liked it very much, especially the picture of William Shatner as Kirk thinking, "I love Lauri."

pack rat vs. magic objects

I just overheard a senior aide where I work tell someone about her son who throws some of her stuff away at home.

"You don't need this, mom!" She imitated him. "Then I just go over to the trash and get it right out. If he throws it back in, I get it back out again."

"You need to hope the trashman doesn't come before you can get it.." The woman she was speaking to asserted.

"Sometimes he does, you know." She told her with some dignity, humor and regret.

One often hears about the packing and saving of too much stuff by folks which is a major burden for their families during their lifetime and definitely after their death. Some packrats have valuable items mixed in with total and utter trash, which makes cleaning up difficult and time-consuming. Argh. What a drag. I've had a couple friends who had to deal with such projects.

But on the other hand, it is so sad to think this little ol' lady just wants to keep this or that and these items are tossed by her unfeeling son. Where is the happy medium, I wonder. Don't throw away my stuff, Kid!

so far so good

Dog had been presented with ball I found last night walking around Northampton with Peretz and his man. He proceeds to shred it.

I was thinking about how funny I was when I was telling DbR that all I wanted to eat between my second cup of coffee and my first beer of the day was a muffin. I said this in reaction to him trying to foist leftovers onto me for lunch. I was being a brat but it is almost true. Not always, though. Sometimes a cookie is nice!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Very Foggy Drive

Just drove up from Northampton and was scared a little by the intense fog all over the highway. It swirled and eddied and I was thinking constantly that there was a cow or a deer or a monster imbedded deep within which I would only find after banging into it with my car.

In other news, DbR made another perfectly wonderful dinner and I think I am pretty lucky to be cooked for by such a fantastic lambchop of a man. yay.

Here's hoping tomorrow is migraine-free!

Cold coffee, warm laundry

Today my head hurt and I didn't have any coffee. I tried to stem the pain with liquidgel store brand pills but the hurting continued. I felt like I should go to work but after a phone call to my boss, opted out. I went to the store and got coffee.

Even though my head hurt, it was a pleasant enough excursion. I waited in a fast-paced checkout line, the woman at the register efficient and pleasant. I've always kind of liked her, anyway. When I got to the front, I commended her on her speed. "You are like a check out machine, it's really great." Having had her job many times in my life, I recognized deft skill in the task and having been in many check out lines where the ringmaster (checkout employee) sucked and had no skill, I appreciated her's. She laughed at my lauding and said, "Yeah, I feel like I died a little inside." I reassured her that wasn't true and she should be proud of keeping the line moving and told her I was very proud. We laughed and smiled at each other. The woman in line behind me almost smiled.

Meanwhile, there is this mysterious guy who works there who is tall and dark and sinewy, kind of. I've noticed him before, usually when I was in the back door line (as I was today). He would trod past, not unlike a hulking superhero and glance out of the corner of his eye at me. I would see him coming and see him start to look and would usually stare boldly at his furtive gazes, as if daring him to stop and speak to me. For the ten seconds of eye contact I would often imagine us in the stock room downstairs being intimate strangers with each other, like Superman and Lois Lane before they knew each other. Well, I guess before she knew him. Anyway, it was a fun fantasy to imagine and a groovy place to go in my head and as he did his half-glance checkout saunter I proceeded with my usual brazen stylings but as I did I thought of a certain guy who I am seeing, which is a departure from my usual situation during our eyeful trysts and I wondered if I was going to go into the place where I didn't overtly flirt like I have been for the last two years.

It was a strange thing to think about.

Sunday, January 06, 2008


2008 may actually turn out to be pretty fucking great.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

"Nancy threw up all over.."

listening to my friend Henry talk about Roma and his honeymoon. Makes me want me some of the braised tuna I ate last night at the Hope and Olive. I like this guy. I'd like to look at stuff with him and meet his friends.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Good Ol' Joe P

won't you come away with me
and begin something we can't understand
i'm as lonely as the Irish Sea
i'm as willing as the sand

could it be so wrong, so wrong?
could it be so wrong, so wrong?

won't you come unbury me
could you light me up like a lemon grove
i'll save you from this dreamy life
to the hardest love you could ever know

could it be so wrong, so wrong?
could it be so wrong, so wrong?

but don't cry baby,
please don't cry baby
i'll be tender til the day i die

this love i have for you is terrible and true
how this sheltered loveless life
fades into the weakest shade of blue

its ruinous and true
how this sheltered loveless life
fades into the weakest shade of blue
weakest shade of blue

could it be so wrong, so wrong?
could it be so wrong, so wrong?

but don't cry baby,
please don't cry baby
i'll be tender til the day i die

this love i have for you is terrible and true
how this sheltered loveless life
fades into the weakest shade of blue

weakest shade of blue...

song and lyrics by Pernice Brothers

I am Rudolph

I have a friend who is slightly obsessed with taking pictures and he is in between cameras right now. I wish I had been more attentive to the situation and given up something I am obsessed with in sympathy, sort of like a lover's lent. But the opportunity came and went and I again am just all ideas, no follow through. What would I have given up that would be somewhat in the same league? Booze, etc. probably is the closest thing. Maybe my car, but that would prove ill-advised with these 2 degree days and work-oriented errands..

Sidenote: the dog just decided to visit with the cat over by the window but she didn't welcome him. Quite the opposite, she slashed at him and I think she may have made contact because he is now licking his paw and rubbing his big nose.

I guess I could give up wearing jewelry. I am always adorning myself with things that I think are pretty. I would feel a little out of sorts without the Carol. Give up sugar and all sweets. ugh, that's too Lent-y. Perhaps tv, especially if the writer's strike ever lets up. Maybe I am not a tv whore but it offers a kind of safety net. Maybe heat. I would keep the heat down in The Bricker to 55 for the whole time. Oh, I already do that.

Give up the things you love.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

considerably grumpy

My eyes really hurt, they are dry and tired from not sleeping more than 2 hours all last night and I'm cold here in my house and wicked grumpy that the plumber who was supposed to get here at 8 am isn't here yet and now I'm beginning to worry about getting to work late when I just want to go back to bed and forget about everything for twelve hours. waah.

But other than that kind of big swirl of dissatisfaction, everything is looking up. I'm seeing some guy who is telling people that he and I are hooking up and he was telling people this when I was thinking maybe it was a bad idea after all. He won me over though, and as long as I keep my heart out of it I can have a good time, I think (she mused, foolishly optimistic considering her past).

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Ya gotta hit the wall sometime

Hello, Lucky Table, you're the luckiest people here. Hello, Lucky Table, order yourself some beer and we will entertain you, we'll laugh and sing all night. Our advise to you is, get in with the wrong, forget about the right.

Full Disclosure's got me down. Like the wrong pillow under my head brings my bulging disc to heated discomfort, so this trip down reality lane wrings the juice out of my hope melon. "we will entertain you, we'll laugh and sing all night"

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

am I talking to myself?

I shovelled snow all weekend and such.

I fooled a smart guy into liking me. I'm feeling somewhat clever.

That's all I have to report at this time.