Almost everything is okay, i guess

well, then. yesterday i had a horrible interaction via email with the (ex) boyfriend and i couldn't deal with seeing him around the house last night so i took off for an overnight with my friend R who's partner was out of town. we hung out and watched the idiot box, drank beer, talked, i skimmed through People magazine, read a little of my book about mary todd lincoln...blah blah. we went to bed @ midnight and the bed in her guest bedroom was nice but not my bed, you know and the pillows made the bulging disc in my neck uncomfortable and i was almost going to throw on my coat, grab my stuff and make the 20- minute trek home. i got out of bed and looked in the closet where there was a fabulous mush pillow with has an indent for your neck and i got back in bed with it.......
i fell asleep instantly.
the next morning i took a long shower, enjoying all their yummy products (i cannot afford all the products i would like to have in my bathroom-i am a showergel and lotion whore for sure-and got dressed with Eddy the dog watching me, it's okay, Eddy is a girl-and went to work. my neck feels a little bit off. my emotions are totally screwed up. i hate trying to get over Frank. i want him to come over because i want to see him because i love him but i don't want to see him because i don't feel like i can get over him when i do see him but i hate the whole idea of getting over him because i love him and want to be with him but obviously it is totally over so i need to get over him so i shouldn't see him but i hate not seeing him----aaaahhhhh!!!