Saturday, February 25, 2006

magic snow

I was displeased and disjointed to find the moving van blocking my small car into the driveway. I felt I was not allowed to escape the horrible proceedings which were occurring inside the sanctuary which is my home. As i swept the inch and a half off my windshield and windows i contemplated the space between the very large and upsetting truck which i hated to acknowledge and the house next door. It looked like i could squeeze through. i started Ramon and he took me away.
At the cafe koko i bought a large red eye and read the advocate. i don't think anyone noticed me. it was nice to sit there somewhat invisibly and observe the goings on. i didn't try to stop the tears but i definitely choked down all my sobs. the last time i cried alone in a coffeeshop was the fall of 2001 at Look Diner. i was definitely less obtrusive today.

mary todd lincoln would manipulate her father into buying her new dresses by crying. i manipulated myself through this day.

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