Sunday, June 29, 2008

she says: the ceremony




During the time we spent with Irving, he spoke many times about his wife, his beloved (deceased) wife who "built him this lighthouse" to show her love.
The lighthouse is nice but it isn't a lighthouse, it is a quaint and lovely building created for this kindly kook. It was a special place for our union. I was in a pretty good mood but realized that I shouldn't giggle and laugh when he started talking about how we shouldn't be entering into this lightly. I felt like a kid in church trying to be serious.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

glad to be home..

"hot as fuck,"

name the movie that quote is from.
of course, Nashville.
Getting sick of Peretz jumping on my bed to sniff at Harriet.
Wish Pickles was there, I miss him.
Enjoying this extra ring on my hand.
silver is nice.
need to moisten, repeat.
There's mail to be opened.

Friday, June 20, 2008

vitamins

Tonight I have tickets to this "opera": http://www.ouramericancousin.com/site/
looking forward to it.

I used to really like vitamin water for the vitamins but I would always hate it for the sugar. Well, I think I have found a replacement "vitamin energy drink" that has low sugar, 30 calories, 100% of 6 vitamins. yippee.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

yay! Rainier cherries!

I just went into the big y real quick for onions and half + half and wow! rainier cherries. I bought a bunch and tried one-eh. I reserve judgement for later when they are rinsed and out of the produce bag. but, yay, season of my favorite cherries is here. whoop whoop.

Monday, June 16, 2008

monday the 16th

I'm kind of nervous about my party tonight. I realize I haven't had a party since August 28, 2002-my housewarming party. Actually, I did have "people over" when Gordon came to visit so I guess that counts.

I'm keeping the expectations low. I appreciate my good friends Karen and David coming with me yesterday to pick up flowers for the centerpieces.

Working now and trying to keep a low profile. There is filing to be done.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

cookery

My good friend David has moved into my house officially, as of June 1st and he has brought a lot of stuff. Some stuff I don't even know about yet-but the stuff I am more quickly becoming acquainted with is his melange of cookery equip. I've never seen the like. There are tools I look at and usually upon examination, I can fathom what they are used for but there are items which I take to him and I have to ask, "for what?" I realize that I am a novice about many things food and cooking.

My mom, bless her heart, is an okay cook and she managed to feed our family adequately while we were brought up. I quickly realized that I loved cookies and I loved to bake and that is what I did in the kitchen but there was never a time where she brought me in the kitchen and said "I'm going to teach you to make a roast, (or turkey, or sauce, or steak, cornbeef or pizza)." I think it might have been because she lacked confidence. She did what she could, she never seemed creative or interested too much in the wonders of the kitchen. She probably just wanted to "get 'er done" and wasn't inspired to do more that the basics. That's okay, but resulted in me growing up with a very limited food prep palette or food taste palate.

The first time I ever had chinese food was when I was in college. I grew so sick of pizza that by the time I began college I really never was interested in eating it ever again. I hadn't had any cream sauces besides potato au gratin which I have hated to this day. Stir fry was an amazing new idea and a wok was a strange device. My boyfriend after college cooked like a chef and even though I never really took an interest in learning any skills, just being in the kitchen with him rubbed off on me. I was taught that tacos didn't only come in a brittle shell which was sold neatly spooned together and I also learned that mexican food actually included things other than tacos. I gathered that one makes tomato sauces without it coming in a jar ready to be dumped into a pan to be heated. And! fish doesn't necessarily have to be coated and fried! wow.

After that boyfriend and I parted I spent some time by myself eating out too much and slowly trying to cook a little bit. Somethings did not turn out too well but I could manage to shape a flour tortilla in hot oil and I did remember to put the cumin in with the refried beans. My next boyfriend had the novel experience of me cooking for him on our first date. He broke his longtime diet with me late night fixing him some snacksters in one of those devices Carol J bought for all her friends. It set a precedent that we would both cook during the relationship but once during a fight I realized that if he didn't cook for me, it was a major deal breaker. This was somewhat of a self-revelation which intrigued me. Although I cooked some stuff here and there, I needed my partner to cook for me, I was dependent. He and I broke up, even though I made enchiladas for him on his birthday (and a cake!) and I was alone again, making my self tacos every couple of days. I started to buy chicken more often, and again, although I ate out more often than I could afford, I started to glean tips from foodie friends. I never watched cooking shows except for "top chef", but I guess I should have, to expand knowledge.

I met my good friend David at his house at a dinner party he was throwing. The food he had made for that party was okay, some things were more impressive than others but we've been somewhat unseparable since. I've done a little cooking and he's done a lot. He's mentioned food and cooking knowledge in conversation which I have no understanding of whatsoever. Just recently we have had hamburgers and I came out of the closet and asked him, "what is the difference between sirloin and chuck and why is one better for burgers than the other?"

Last night I turned to him around 7 pm and I was hungry. "What is for dinner?" I asked. I had heard him crunching chips and who knows what else in the kitchen while I sat in the living. We hadn't talked or made any plan about it yet that night which is somewhat odd because we both love food and I think he anticipates dinner with as much interest as I do. "I've been craving nachos.." He stated and I immediately thought of the nearest restaurants where we could get such a thing. The options were bleak. Then, I did something which the first boyfriend, Charlie, would have done: I began to catalogue the items in the house which would add up to adequate nachos: we had corn tortillas which I could cut up and fry, we had cans of refried, we had some cheese (not enough for the cheese lover in David, but it would suffice)...I wandered over to the fridge and started collecting the assorted peppers I had in there and although we have zero onions in the house I managed to put together the nachos in a somewhat timely fashion. He claims they tasted okay.

What do you use this thing for?

stripper

I guess my #1 choice of stripper for Monday is Cameron from RI and the costume I choose is "stranded motorist".

Monday, May 12, 2008

maybe I'll see some of this in Jersey~




What is the weather supposed to be like this weekend?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

scheduling

I have a dripping ceiling in my kitchen which is caused by an unfinished/leaky tile job in my bathroom. The tile job in the bathroom looks nice but it is leaking.

It's been a couple of months now and I have been making plans during that time to get a tile guy and a plumber to come to my house at the same time to work on the trouble and I'm worried after all this that it doesn't actually fix the leak-who knows, right?

But I am moving forward with the job with the hope that it will be fine and fixed and my kitchen will have less of a relationship with my bathroom. I do have that hope. Last night I fussed with the bathroom, removing things and sorting it out for the job this morning.

This morning I woke up at 7 in anticipation for the 8 am arrival of the workguys. I had hired and confirmed their schedule and I got a call from the tileguy at 7:15 this morning asking, "are we still on?" uh, yeah. I have been anticipating this day, this job for months, it feels like.

DbR and I drank coffee and hung around with the dogs and then the plumber showed up at 8:20-but no tile guy. I felt all stressed that the plumber would finish his prep and the tile guy wouldn't be here and the plumber would have to leave and then charge me another start up fee when he came back (really can't afford that). I called the tile guy a couple of times and the plumber started cutting into all my walls and I sat here and waited, playing a little scrabulous.

9:15. The tile guy is here. Can't wait to see what happens.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

saturday nights awright

last night i got a text on my phone and it didn't say who it was and the number isn't in my log and i can't help but wonder, "who?"
it's Saturday. DbR is showering and i am using his lappy. i haven't been on a computer since i was at work yesterday. when i got home afterwards DbR showed up with a nice table and chairs and set them up in the yard, over by the property line/bulkhead. "who is going to sit there with you?" I asked. He was befuddled as to my refusal. "You may as well ask the neighbors over to have a cup of coffee and smoke with you." He shook his head at me. "Space waster" During the 15 minutes it took me to clear off my back porch, sweep and mop the thing and have him bringing the set up on the porch I tried to explain to him how that space was not wasted, it worked perfectly and necessarily well as my buffer. That is the space I need between me and my neighbor's driveway, etc. He didn't seem to understand the McNamara way. Put a fence up!

This morning the neighbor with 2 pit bulls and a puppy had his brown puppy, cocoa, out in the yard. Cocoa ran over to Rosy, the neighbor dog while Peretz and Pickles strained at the end of their lines to be part of the action. They weren't, except as the chorus: "ruff! ruff! woof! woof!" etc.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

(not so) Lazy Sunday

This week's dark obsession woke up, drank coffee and left me with the 2 dogs while he went to work for a quick minute, ran over to Atkins where he bought me some flowers for the yard (johnny jump ups), a couple big ol' apple fritters and 2 pieces of pineapple cream pie and drove back to the Bricker.

Meanwhile, I broke up dog on dog annoyances right and left, made a nice fire (it got cold today) and started sorting out my last photographic project. he's trying to take a pic of me but i don't think i look as cute as i did yesterday.



feel like i have a sore throat.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

get the pool to ripple

is it nice out? i think it is finally kind of nice out.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Fearless by default: Day ninety seven ... A confluence of events.

Fearless by default: Day ninety seven ... A confluence of events.

It's funny how things are connected. First, the Mary mentioned in my friend's blog is a friend of mine and my friend, DbR's, and here she is, featured prominently in this blog I enjoy. Secondly, the guy mentioned in this blog, the Rob guy with a baby? Well, I had a date with him a year or so ago during which we went and had some ginger beers at The People's Pint after he picked me up from my house. After nailing down the fact that we know each other from when he came over to my house to record in my ex's studio way back in 2003 or something he then proceeded to tell me how wonderful and talented and supergreat my ex is and even though perhaps I might on some days be found on the very same debate team, I certainly don't need to hear such propaganda from my current date, right? So I had asked the guy, "Could we please talk about something else? I don't really want to tune into the FVP channel.." But he wouldn't stop! He kept bringing him up and how talented and personable and funny FVP is and when they first met and what they've done together musically and....

after the date he emailed me once more to tell me that I "really need to get over" my ex. How incredibly helpful he was!!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

come on over and spackle

it's fun!
the bf and I were ripping down the old dark wallpaper in his room to be and he got a strange and absurd idea that the walls behind the wallpaper aren't as smooth as he thinks they should be and has some wacky intention (he might actually be joking-ha!) that the walls should be smoothed and sanded, etc. do you believe that?

Well, that is not the type of project I'm interested in being involved with, so if anyone reading this would like to "wax on/wax off" with the this and that of wall smoothing, please contact me here and I'll sign you up.
Over and out.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

like infinity-a soft pelted dog

So, the roommate moved out and although he was generally a nice guy and served a purpose for me in my life in many ways, wow, I love having the house to myself. Just me and the dog and the cat: life just feels so peaceful, perfect. I have a date to go see an old friend tonight and I might cancel it just so I can be alone in my house. I really need to clean this dump (flash to Elizabeth Taylor in Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf -You know what I'm talking about.) and even though I attacked the bathroom last night- clean floor and porcelain, soft, fluffy throw rugs...mmmmm- I didn't touch the floors of kitchen, living room and dining room because DbR came over and we started pulling the wallpaper down in his future room. This was an enjoyable activity, to be sure, but my cleaning schedule took a major hit.

Yesterday was a good day-I saw 4 (four) different men in relationship to some home improvement capacity. I love April 1, 2008-true love forever.

One more silly, ironic note: When FVP lived here he brought a crappy big ol' gas grill that never worked. It just sat out in the yard looking ugly. Then, when he left, I had to get rid of it. I paid some guy to take away a bunch of old crap to the dump, including that. I was pretty happy to have it gone. The roommate moved in and much to my dismay, six months later carts over -yes-another gas grill. I was filled with dread. I think he used the thing fucking twice, ridiculous. Guess what? He left it.
I have the monster sitting in my backyard exactly where the last one was. It works. Anyone want it? Come and take it away. Why am I the keeper of discarded gas grills? I hate them. Stupid robot.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

question

why is there a dead mouse in my dining room? During the time it took just now for me to go into the cellar, put clothes in the dryer and start a new load of laundry, a dead creature has been deposited in the (well-travelled) doorway between the kitchen and dining room. was it the cat? was it the dog? where had it been before I went downstairs? Pickles isn't saying anything.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I don't like to balance

Last feb - may 2007 or so I started taking Bikram yoga fairly regularly. I really liked the way it made my body feel and I got pretty flexible.

My least favorite poses were the ones where they included balancing on one foot: the tree and the standing head to knee. Meanwhile, the eagle, bow and stick, although they are balancing poses, I was more able to do them, not for the full 60 seconds, but I could almost do them alright and so would have more inclination to try to get back into the poses when I fall out. Anyway, I didn't like the balancing poses very much.

On June 26th, I broke my ankle. I had stopped doing bikram more than a month before that because the man, Charlie, who owned the Northampton/Sunderland Bikram, was a total dick and I didn't want to get him my money. After breaking my ankle, I often found myself inadvertently balancing on my left foot. I missed sweating and stretching but there are no other nearby Bikram classes so I stayed sedentary. Fast forward to January 26, 2008 and what happens? I break my other ankle and spend a solid 10 days balancing on my right foot. So bizarre.

I still miss the Bikram work out and I found out in Putney on Friday nights there is a class and I vow to go, which I did yesterday.

Forget about the balancing poses, especially on the newly broken ankle. I can sort of do balancing stick on both, can do a little bit of the bow on the right foot but I cannot balance on my toes in the awkward. I've always loved the fixed firm. It felt so good and I was always able to go right into it. Now, whenever the pose starts with sitting on my feet, I'm fucked, I can't do it. I can't sit on my feet. I'm afraid and it hurts. waah.

I think I am going to continue going on Fridays in Putney. I would like to do it and I cannot get any worse! The teacher is understanding and although I feel frustrated from the first time out, I believe bodies can recoup and so I would like to help mine do so.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

good coffee good face

I have my new bright brown pants on this morning and I'm feeling pretty good. The frisbee was bobbled a bit but I recovered it and I am strong enough to toss it 50 yards in a straight line.

My ankle might not be able to support me as I run over the rutted field but if I stand stock still in some shin-height rolling ocean with smooth sand underfoot, then I'm safe.



yep, feeling pretty good about these pants.
photo of me and my pants at Gettysburg by DbR

Monday, March 24, 2008

sigh

back at work.
overwhelmed.
having some very nice coffee.
not sure of anything.



photo of little bird at Gettysburg by DbR

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

vacationing in nashville, tn

I worry a little about Pickles as I am surrounded by 3 other dogs who are pretty fun and funny.

I'm pretty sure he's fine and most of his needs are met but I bet he's a little lonely. Little dog.

The vacation is going well. I sang some righteous karaoke and enjoyed some seedy nightlife at the "bongwater" aka Sweetwater, a divey bar near the Parthenon. The Parthenon was lovely to see and DbR + I are leading a fairly relaxed existence amongst the background of his childhood home. It's nice that there are parents out there who stay together and live in the lovely house which they have been in forever. I'll never feel the same way about the house I grew up in, even though my father still lives there, it will always be my mother's home from when I was a child and now it is just kind of cold and empty with him in there. I guess it would have made more sense to me in my heart and head if she stayed there and kept it warm and lovely and he took one of his apartments at Sedgwick Street. But that's not the way it worked out and although my mom has acquired a pretty nice little house, it's not history.

That's okay, I have always wanted to make my own history anyway and although it is too late for that, I can surround myself with things which please me and move forward through the every day as if I belonged somewhere.