I will survive

First otter reaches Farne Islands

An otter has survived a "perilous" three-mile sea crossing to the Farne Islands for the first time, the National Trust has said.

The animal, more commonly found in rivers, has swum from the coast of Northumberland despite rough seas.

Head warden David Steel said he was stunned to find 60 yards of otter tracks on Brownsman Island, which is famed for its bird colonies.

The mammal has not yet been sighted, but it is thought to be still there.

Agitated behaviour by the island's gulls and puffins suggest the new predator has settled in.

Force nine gales

While otters in Scotland do live in coastal areas, Mr Steel said it was "a rare event" to see them by the sea in England.

For one to reach an island three miles offshore was, he said, "incredible".

"It is staggering that an otter could survive the perilous journey out to the Farne Islands, especially Brownsman, which is a long way from the mainland," he said.

"We almost had to rub our eyes with disbelief when we discovered the tracks," he told the BBC.

"We've recently had force nine gales and it can be tricky to reach the islands even on a relatively calm day, which makes this otter's journey a little bit special."

Mr Steel said the otter may be a young animal, fresh from leaving the family fold and seeking its own territory.

"It might be a lonely animal, but it will hopefully survive," he said.

"There'll certainly be plenty of food, plenty of crustaceans and fish to feed upon, but unfortunately, unless another animal swims out here, it might have a lonely existence.

"But there's no reason why we can't get a second or third animal. They are obviously exploring this area so, who knows, maybe in the future might have a small breeding population."

The only worry, Mr Steel said, was about the impact the otter might have on nesting birds next summer.

"Unfortunately, otters are carnivores. They will feast upon bird eggs and small chicks so at that moment it may be a slight concern."

In the late 1950s and early 60s, otters underwent a sudden and catastrophic decline throughout much of Britain and Europe, probably due to the combined effects of pollution and habitat destruction.

home with the guys

I blew off yoga. I'm just lazy. Came home after running a few errands and made a fire while husband made a pretty great dinner-tortellini with gorgonzola and a squashy side dish. Looks like us newlyweds are going to have to put a thanksgiving meal together at home. Might actually be fun, right?

Looking forward to watching an instant download of dirty harry. I used to watch that fairly frequently and I'm psyched to see it again. First, however, a dog walk. Feeling lazy about that as well.

hungry-er than usual

why does one get more hungry than the usual hungry when one is unable to eat as opposed to just not eating? Today I received the second half of my scraping and planing dental treatment, getting the remaining plaque and calculus taken off my choppers. Again, the yoga breath was very helpful. When the needles came into my mouth and poked poked poked at me, I found myself tensing up. When the laser stream hit my gums and other places, I found my brow was furrowed and my shoulders tensed. What I would do is stare at a corner of the drop ceiling and breath through my nose in that conscious fashion and the brow would unwrap, the shoulders would come down, the dental needle faded off and now I have the clean teeth and firm resolve to brush floss and poke with more intent and better purpose.

The scraping/planing woman would often murmur with concern while working on my wisdom teeth and had to come back to them again and again. I tortured her by saying, "well, it figures that the calculus would be attracted to the wisdom tooth!" oh, I know, I know, poor lady.

Now I'm hella hungry. Just cleaned the bathroom and looking forward to the mount everest of dishes-yay!

arbitrary rulings

today at work i was told that the cfo wanted to change the way i label some invoices which i enter into an accounting program and there was no real reason except for a whim, as i was told...i plead my case and then some kittens came into the office and i fled home with a migraine Ala nausea.

at home i had some alka seltzer and was yet again amazed at its acuity regarding absolution of all physical ailments. today literally as i drank it (and it went down very easy) i felt it healing as i felt it descend my esophagus. it was miraculous. i went upstairs and lay down with pickles under the blanket and felt better as i sipped my peppermint tea.

later i talked to the kid and a brilliant plan was formed for this weekend. i can't wait.

i did not go to yoga and i missed it. but then i went to dinner at the hope and olive. i had the meatloaf. it was perfect.

have i posted yet today?

why can't i remember how to publish links? argh
i remember i knew some stuff once but not any more.
i'm kind of excited because i made a group in facebook and it is very popular which makes me happy.
i miss my kid and i'm not sure when i am going to see him next.
guess i'll drink a beer and watch Buffy.

Make Food With Meat.

I have a headache and I should take a shower. I made a great new group on Facebook! Go join.

watching 90210

today was topsy turvy and for a while i was grumpy and for a while i was sick but now im relaxed and sure, i didn't get to see the concert i wanted to but that happens.

whhops!

where'd friday go? I forgot to blog. it was a nutty day. on thurs I found out that the guy who is Iron and Wine is playing in northampton tonight (saturday) and it was "sold out" except for those token 100 tix at the door. I was pretty bummed because I have been semi-obsessed with "Shepherd's Dog" since it came out last...Nove? Dec? and kind of really would like to see my favorite songs done live. Do I go down to Hamp at 5:30 and hang around to get a ticket? what a drag.

after work I wanted some husband time even though I had scheduled myself to go to an event in Hamp so he and I went out and saw a 7 pm showing of Quantum of Solace which was pretty great. Bond has a car race, a boat race and a plane race (navigating all the vehicles) it was good-there were some teen boys sitting behind us who had to keep checking in with each other about the plot. fucking losers. "who's Vesper?" idiots. and then when we were walking out some teen girl said to her friend, "the last one was so great, i don't know what the deal is"

right after i got home i jumped in my car and raced to hamp and saw winterpills who were great but too short a set and then while the other people who i didn't know played, etc. i had some pretty nice convos with peops i haven't seen in a while, which was a pretty nice catch up. i listened to JJ's rant regarding emails vs. phone calls which i appreciated and met up with Rosemary who is an old friend moving to Amherst. All i could talk about was the possibility of Sal's band playing Montague next week. I hope it happens (bites fingernails nervously).

its raining and crappy outside. i am about to leave for a yoga class at one and david just took Pickles out in the rain for a poo. i feel appreciative and guilty. i'll make it up to him with cake later!

Last Night at the Hope and Olive

last night we went out to dinner at the H+O "just for beer and salads" but we received more food than just that as we sat at the bar.
The highlights were the ribs I had ordered for seven bucks:



which were freaking amazing and that sauce on the side? i may create a shrine of devotion just for that sauce.
The ribs went perfectly well with these, which I think cost three or four:



yes, those are rutabaga fries which come with their own sauce, thank you very much. A very perfect meal is these two dishes together with a pint of Racer Five. I would like to all that for lunch. But wait, I'm a card carrying member of the meatloaf club! the decisions are killer! oh thank you DbR for making these photos available.

wow i almost spaced out...

...blogging today! I've sort of set as a goal an everyday/blog November, like I did last year on nomoblolo or whatever that website is. I noticed immediately that DbR blogs every day easy, doesn't have to even try, it seems, to blog two sometimes three times a day. I can sort of get like that, take an easy once a day but today, well, good thing blogger is on cali time.

today was annoying at work but the smoke cleared after lunch. one of my bosses sent me an email requesting a bottled water and candy run. that makes me laugh. then i walked down the cold drizzly street to do a bank run, which was fine since I bundled up and had my rain hat. sure, it wasn't as great as a September afternoon running into Thurston Moore kind of walk down the street but it was interesting and gives me a template upon which to compare those sweet summer afternoons.

then i went to yoga and it was a drag driving down the drizzly dark fiveten. the class was worth it though-sure i couldn't do standing head to knee but my camel kicks ass and everything gets thoroughly charged from that. bacon sandwiches for dinner rounded out the domestication of me.

My bras always seem too small

Today I had my teeth cleaned for the first time in twenty years. As I wrote before, there is much calculus which needed to be chipped away by the periodonal assistant. She was very nice. I felt the need to apologize for the gross plaque and for the need for her assiduous care. She used an instrument which sprayed a laser sharp stream of water onto my teeth and gums and I had to have the water (and blood!) sucked up by the vacuum straw again and again. The left side of my mouth was so numb that I kept feeling like I was drooling all over her and myself and I may have been but she was very kind and assured me repeatedly that all was well.

There were times when the laser stream was uncomfortable against my gum or I was simply swept away in the small panic of mouth care. It was then that the yoga practice I have been involved in came very much into play and proved extremely useful. When the dentist was in with the big Novocaine needle I was nervous and at other times during the scraping and planing I could feel myself get a little anxious. During those times (and in general during the procedure) I would look up at the drop ceiling and pick a spot in particular and breath in and out through my nose with deliberation. This usually worked to mellow me out and also to give me the needed oxygen. If I still needed mellowing I would count my breaths, not going over two-1.2.1.2-this also helped me to notice that my brow or face was scrunched up and who needs that? I would smooth out the whole package with precise prana.

Yoga almost mellowed me out

I am watching that tv show FRINGE and there is some gross thing inside someone's chest, some alien parasite and its grossing me out. It is so gross that I almost rather walk the dogs instead of watching. I don't really want to walk the dogs, I'm feeling kind of lazy and uninterested in walking around the block. I just want to sit around and be lazy.

Meanwhile, I went to yoga today and kept my blood sugar fairly high-around 200 through the class which I know is far from ideal but I was able to keep my energy up and did all the poses except for two--and I never do those two. I did really well, I think, but now I'm feeling pretty fucking lazy.

Tomorrow: tooth planing and scraping! yay!

cats and their toys

Harriet writes: she's doing great. getting and giving all the cuddles anyone (and dog) can stand. yay. i think i made the right decision there although i do need a mouse and mole killer. she was supergreat in the hunting department. good cat.

weird day

i'm cold and i tried to snuggle up with my husband but Pickles got in between us and it became awkward so i got up, flossed the teeth and came upstairs to my lovely bed which has plenty of room for me. cold though. that situation will rectify once i get down under.

today i went to yoga and it started out pretty nice even though there were some new girls who sat filing their nails and doing their hair while waiting for the class to begin. i always lay down in shavasana to calm my worried mind as well as i can before the class starts. these gals were not doing that. they were newbies. the blond gal next to me kept glancing over at me which i generally hate but i was able to tune her out alright. the class is an hour and a half long and by the 8th or so pose (out of 22) i was feeling weaker and more nauseous than usual. this continued the rest of the class and it never occurred to me that i had low blood sugar but i did and my energy ebbed and i only did one pose out of every two or so. it sucked. anyway, this is boring but i had planned on blogging once a day and right now this is what i am thinking about. when i first got to yoga and was just chilling on the floor noticing the other yoga practisers doing their non-yoga prep i was thinking about how i should write an essay about how strange people are with their workouts. it seems to me that if you go to the yoga class you should or, well, you might want to get in the mood, to wholly immerse yourself in the mindset of the Bikram practice once you get into the room and are about to start but i guess one has to come to that realization on their own. or not. i just find it distracting when people are distracted. i guess i'm a little bit of a yoga nazi. i'm sure i was distracting today when i was pacing around wondering what the hell was wrong with me when all i needed was a little vitamin water.

i know, whats wrong with me? i've only been a diabetic for 28 years, seems like i'd know the symptoms, right? well, i tested my blood sugar before the class and the meter read 300 which is hella high, that should keep me fine through an hour and half of major sweating. but either the test was incorrect or that insulin i had taken 3 hours earlier suddenly hit. that's unlikely. the test was wrong. in the car after the class i tested 72! yoink. i got home ok and there was chili and biscuits waiting which is always nice.

so thats my dumb post for this weird day. there is more that made it weirder but its personal and who knows, my mom could be reading this.

and you know about my interest in u.s. presidents and their families..

Just a thought about the united states for a minute. Slowly, as I get used to the idea that O actually did win and that the society in which I live actually is “better” than I gave it credit for, I start coming to startling and hopeful ideas. Maybe we American humans can start actually looking at each other, perhaps being more friendly and less antagonistic to each other. If this certain man was elected in by us united states citizens, maybe my fellow citizens aren’t the assholes I’ve believed them to be for the past forever.

Was I still hopeful back when Clinton was president? When did I become so jaded? Can I retrieve my non-jadedness? I think Clinton was just a quick relief, a good ol’ boy who fit in the u.s. presidential cookie cutter in a not great way. I like him and I have more respect for him now, I think, than when he was president, but while he was president, I certainly wasn’t renewed with hope for my country and awakened with astounding ideas of unity and fellowship the way I have been because of O’s election.

There’s a chance, a very happy exciting chance, that we right thinking awakened people can perhaps grab back this country and make it less of a killing belligerent monster that it has become under BushJr’s watch and, in the big picture, which it has become post ww2. Can I actually open my hope chest?

good ol' mom

So, My mom got a computer and needs a quick tutorial and so I asked David if he wanted to come on over to Syracuse and help her to figure stuff out that the ol' lady is new to learning. Always up for an adventure he said yeah and so here we are. I helped her pick up some sites and favorite some stuff and now she's on flickr-whee.

maybe going to visit Norm soon

something funny that happened today

Hail those playfully competitive sibling proprietors! the lucky ones: eaters and local foodies like me and DbR.

rainy days and mondays

The oldies channel is really getting me down today. Someone is really programming the sad ones.
I think I have a predilection.
Don't let the sun catch ya crying, yo.

feeling better feeling okay

Happy the election is over
Happy that hellish woman can fade into oblivion
Happy that the u.s. isn't as fascist as I had feared
Happy to make plans to visit the white house sometime soon

dinner is nigh

eh.

i am so nervous

what if obama wins and the republican party gears up to wipe us all out in 2012? what if the political machine of the u.s. is creepier than i expect and our new democratic president doesn't have the protection that our current president/murderer is given and tragedy ensues? why does my country's government fill me with dread/horrible certain darkness? I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I wish I could spend the day with Gore Vidal I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried

ha!

I thought I had all of our accomodations squared away for the Hawaii vacation but the lady realtor emailed me and said she has a heavy heart because she overbooked during the time of our stay. I detested her vague delivery more than her incompetence.

Anyway, it is actually a good thing because I was enjoying the act of finding and deciding, investigating and mapping so here I have a whole new opportunity! yay for me.
I will find a way better place. It may not be next door to the shaved ice place in Haleiwa that DbR fancied so wholeheartedly but maybe we'll see this guy:


Here's hoping the Republican mob doesn't rule the u.s. like I fear it do.

German for 'Levensies?

Mittagspause

yay, November one

So, halloween is over for another year. I have to say I am a little bit relieved, as usual. We went around to a couple places and it was fun, etc. but I spent too much time last night feeling kind of hungry. I still am a little bit hungry. Carol and Dana had a pretty great to=do over to the Apollo Grille. There were some interesting peops but not enough food, ha ha. David won second place in the costume contest-Thanks to me! ha ha.

Dogs say hey

I want to be just like him.

sitting in bed with husband and dogs

we have the downloaded ELO concert on our netflix magic box on the tv and we are both on our silly macbooks. I am pretty relaxed, thanks to hot yoga and a nice dinner. I came home to find a sweetpotato meatloaf meal--it was nice.
there are a lot of people playing strings on stage with this band. They keep saying "its great to be back in England, it's great to be back in England." There is a guy with a bright blue violin.

Meanwhile, have i mentioned how much I love Etsy? I can just sit around with the laptop and buy something just wonderful like this guy:



and with paypal, boom! it is travelling to my mail box immediately! cool.

unsuccessful saturday

As I try to book our rooms/condo/etc for our trip in December I believe in a natural sense of entropy. Everything falls apart, including the human body and we have to rebuild and repair our old houses as needed.

Most people have a wish, a dream they work toward. It's nice to let it go and just sit back with a book and a drink. Many times we humans realize our dream is unattainable and we begin to resent our free time. Life is weird. I want to know how to do everything: cook mexican, use a sewing machine, use a synthesizer, play a piano, make the perfect fire in my wood stove, memorize the u.s. presidents, publish an amusing zine, find the mate that fits, etc. But the scattershot of my attention and interest has created a Lauri who can do and accomplish stuff okay but who has never excelled at any one perfect thing. Sometimes I feel betrayed by myself in this way. Everything is okay, is tolerable, but nothing is perfect.

teeth and gums

How Successful are Dental Implants?

Provided thorough criteria of case selection and clinical protocols are adhered to, dental implants can have a success rate of 97% or more. In some cases, such as in the anterior mandible, the success rate is close to 99%. Your periodontist will assess you and advise you if you are a suitable candidate for dental implants. To improve implant success, a CT scan is made of your jaw, generating a data file. This data allows a 3-Dimensional view of your bone; it’s true height, width, and most importantly, your actual jaw bone density exactly where each implant will be placed. Using sophisticated 3-D implant planning software, we plan the exact location of the implants. This enables us to do “virtual surgery” on the computer, vastly simplifying treatment planning, and reduces surgical time and discomfort.

Yesterday I went to a dentist for the first time in maybe twenty years. Actually, when I was pregnant for Sal, I had masshealth so I took the opportunity to go to a dentist. But I didn't follow up because I didn't have dental insurance. But that was just the one time since I graduated college in 1988. Well, during that time I brushed at least twice a day and for the last ten years, flossed a couple times a week. This wasn't enough for my good oral health because the dentist called me today to tell me that when he looked at my xrays he could tell that I have major bone loss. I also have some gross stuff called calculus hanging around my teeth. what a bummer. and there is one small cavity.

and I was so proud of my remaining four wisdom teeth.

Harriet Rules, all dogs drool

Word From Harriet:
FVP, her new roomie reports: "She really seemed to like reclining on the (carpeted cat)perch next to the woodstove. She also fell asleep this morning on top of the dog, who was under the covers, which was pretty cute."
Things are looking up!

spider bite and draft beer

There are two blog-worthy subjects I want to write about but I don't have the time right now to give them their due. I need to giddy-up with the dressing and dog walking and work going, etc etc. Let's just leave it like this

Thanks, DbR, for taking my picture. Thanks Target for having this costume ready for me to "slip into" as I clamor through your aisles. And thank you chickens everywhere.

thursday is a crazy kind of day...

sometimes i really want to close my door and stay quiet in my room. sometimes i don't want to take the towel off of my hair. sometimes i like music, sometimes i can't be bothered. i'm happy the cat is safely away from danger dogs. i sometimes feel my life is full of such sacrifices and even though it is the right thing to do (i.e. not selfish), i end up being the empty one. i don't ask for what i want all the time. it becomes too much trouble.

I like Figments' Twelve Bells. I was just listening to the song, "Settling" as I wrote the above. I wonder if it had some effect.

Anybody Want A Good Cat?

When I was in my twenties, I lived on Martha's Vineyard and I had a cat which was killed by two neighborhood dogs who had the run of the place. They came up onto my porch and smushed/bit my cat to death. It wasn't great.

Now I have the same situation pending in my own household. The dogs are fine with the cat separately but together they form a deathly pack who try to rustle her into a tight spot and...who knows? It didn't look good this morning for Harriet when I saved her from her trapped spot under the barstool with both dogs looming close by.

She's a good cat. She kills mice and moles and sleeps next to you, not on top. She's small and graceful. I'd like to save her life.

not bad, not good

good ol' Four Leaf Clover. Pork coulda been more tender, though. I guess nothing compared to the pork I had yesterday. mmmm. The event was at a park in Northfield on the connecticut river and it was lovely, even with overcast skies and mosquitoes. I brought ginger cookies and oatmeal cookies and the H+O brought everything else, even the Holy Smokes catering bus. I ate rib after rib and felt guilty but there was enough for everyone, even with DbR and I interloping.-
Afterwards I went to the showing of M*A*S*H, the final movie of the all-Altman-all-the -time weekend at the Academy of Music. I only managed to go to see two out of the 10-something movies offered. It was interesting last night at M*A*S*H, a movie I have seen many times, because I got teary-eyed watching the beginning sequence of that lovely song playing over the helicopters carrying the wounded. I paid closer attention to the helicopters and the bloody actors playing soldiers strapped to the panniers of the 'copters and I was able to take in Altman's anti-war sentiment more acutely than ever, really feeling that the helicopters kept coming and coming and the song was so lovely sounding and sad. The bloody make up was done so well and gor-ily and the sight of the soldiers' hands hanging listlessly in the air as these casualties were toted along really brought the horror home. I felt it.

There is a quick scene toward the end of the beginning credits where one of the orderlies falls under a stretcher he is carrying and I was bewildered when I heard someone laugh in the audience. I realized that viewers of the tv show M*A*S*H have been programmed to be the laugh track and that was where many of my co-viewers last night were at. This show is a sitcom so it's funny; go ahead and laugh when someone falls down. But not me. I didn't laugh so much and that certainly did not diminish my enjoyment of the film. I did laugh once, during the football scene when the players crashed into 2 or 3 wheelchair-bound soldiers. Sure, it isn't funny really but I laughed.

coming up next: more Heroes, I hope

oh i just have to mention real quick and i hate to go off so i'll just say that i think it is total bullshit, these socialist ideas our lovely republican administration (present and hopeful) want to put in place to save their cronies' asses (and rich retirement plans). fuckers. where is their socialistic support when i'm buying my mutherfucking insulin every three weeks? AHHHHHHhhhhhHHH!

my husband..

..took me out for luncheon cheeseburgers at the local grease joint here in lovely downtown Greenfield. It was nice. So far this first day back to work after the long weekend has been a challenge. I trust that the tide will change now, post calorie rush.

I like this guy

I also love a monday off, yay.
We've been invited to a special Hope and Olive employee party catered by the folks from Holy Smokes today. I'm pretty happy about that. I feel like I haven't eaten all weekend! what the fuCk? hungry.

Why does Pickles lick David's comforter?

So today I made DbR's life "like magic" and then was called a "solid citizen". I do feel like both. I do feel very very sore from stacking wood. We got around 2 cords of wood and we stacked it into two lovely solid rows. My body is tired and sore. We received the netflix movie player for the tv. very exciting thing to have when one is bedridden with old sore body. ooooh, what'll we watch?

egg with meat inside

It is too loud in here. Pickles is yelling, "rrrowwrrr rrrlowwlrr" and I'm sick of it. Sure, it's real cute but I'd love some quiet. Peretz is barking indignantly and I want quiet. Why can't I sit on the couch and have quiet dogs? argh

ate bbq at the Hope and Olive

cocatered by Holy Smokes, late of Hatfield. Really yummy and beyond any reproach. I got the ribs and could only eat one of four, I was so full so fast. They had these corn fritters with this maple butter outside coating -oh boy. I really cannot say enough about this gastromic orgasm. Best part of the weekend.

Even better than realizing I could lay/sit in bed and watch a dvd on my macbook. whoa.

lazing around being sick

DbR uploaded some word/publisher programs on my lappy after telling the laptop that it's going to have to forget I ever had a password because I didn't remember my password. Now I have to remember all my other passwords. How ironic. I don't remember more than one or two passwords at a time. Now he's outside telling his mom how silly I was not to remember all my passwords.

ok, this is all just silly. I'm delirious with silliness. I need a tissue and a snack, I think.

ha!

I was just going to write about how while calling my Kid I slammed a coffee table into my toe, breaking a large piece of the toenail off and then I looked at my last 2 blogs were about physical maladies and I almost stopped myself! Who wants to hear about my illin'?

The weird part was it really hurt and just as I realized how much it hurt the message time came on and I had to leave a message for him while enduring the pain stoicly. I think I managed but at the end my "call me soon" may have sounded a little querolous.

sore throat sore throat

house is empty, which is fortunate because DbR and i have no energy left for dogs and each other, much less visitors. Slept last night from 10 p -8 this morning. still a little faded.
wearing new pants, socks, shirt and boxer briefs from Gap outlet. I look like a boy but feel pretty as a daisy! should go walk Pickles.
coffee is almost working.

6 advil and counting

what a great party and i don't think i was the only one who had fun. thank goodness i am not expected to work today. wonder about all of our gifties. should probably go fetch them from the hope and olive. first time six grownups stayed over in the Bricker. I will not let this absinthe and murphy's headache get the best of me. it's a lovely lovely day. house guests are dissipating. i like lying on the couch with macbook.

funny funny funny

everything is nice--the house is hella full. i went to get donuts from adams this morning and would like to get my hair cut...it doesn't look that great. blah blah blah.
it seems like all the house guests are happy here...there's drama as usual in the lesbian quarter but that's life. tonight should be fun..i received a call last night from evelyn asking when guests were going to arrive. i guess she thought 5 pm but maggie knew it was 7. i love that goof=iness. i feel goofy but on the outside i bet i come off as annoying. oh well.
DbR's brother is obsessively playing guitar hero which is funny. I'm glad we have something to occupy and amuse. CB and I spent an embarrassingly long time playing Singstar yesterday. hee hee hee.

nice day day day

"Just back from yet another delightful brunch & a quick trip to the Bookmill, going to take my brother swimming in Green River now.

Beautiful, balmy day, quite perfect as last day's of summer go."
My husband wrote this today and he hit it right. My friends are here, DbR's bro is here, it's a nice day, we're relaxing, there is no real pressure and it is good. Time needs to slow down, though.

sunday

sitting here on my computer, david is on his computer, planning a brunch situation with extended people. reminds me of a time in my life i would go out to the black dog with (too) many people for a meal and the chaos would always cause a certain level of anxiety for me-- and i wasn't even the waitron! haw.

it should be hella nice, though. baby viewing is nigh. my shoulder hurts and the coffee is fresh. my weekend is too fast. bleh

shoulder hurts

What if I die before.....
Everything seems so tentative and brutal.
Feeling disoriented and sore.
Every time I think about being dysfunctional,
I stop myself with a little pep-talk.
The yard is a mess, the house isn't unpacked.
The office isn't packed, the dogs need walking.
Even when I'm sitting and lying down,
I'm not relaxed.
There so much to do and it's never going to get done.
ever.

But it's okay. It really is.
I drink beer and/or vodka everyday
but my tolerance is so low-and waning by the moment.

I don't sing as well as I would like.

bleh

the usual bitsy road blocks keep coming up as i approach the ecstatic point of publishing a zine where i'm ready to collate and in the case of Pawl Bitt, cut down to size...SH! almost done

full moon, weird air

DbR and I just walked dogs and it was a heavy, humid time. "I can't believe it's not raining!" He commented and I understood-it felt like it should've been.
There were little bugs flying around my head while walking which I absolutely abhore but besides that, the weather didn't bother me, in fact, I found it interesting and novel. I wouldn't want my atmosphere to be like that all the time but once in a while, maybe-
After the walk DbR took to his bed. The weather had ruined him.

The Day After

It's not so bad, September 13, except that I have to wait a whole nother year for my birthday to come around again. I would have liked more sun at the beach (there was none) and less driving in traffic but the company I kept was top drawer (best friend and husband), the food was good (sushi ym ym), and photo opportunities abounded.
here is a sample:


THis is what 42 looks like

somehow

my husband knew which comic books to get me, which Le Creuset to get me for my birthday. It's nice. I thought I asked for a metal bulkhead for my birthday. Somehow he seems to know that is not what I really want.

"Can I bring this to the beach and get it all sandy or are we worried about resale value?"

I love my birthday.

thursday

one more workday before my birthday weekend. i love my birthday, even when i'm alone, even when i don't have any plans...i always make plans for myself and create a good memory, at the very least, while enjoying the moment to moment. this year i have someone who, within his job description as husband, will have to spend my bday with me-he even took the day off. we're supposed to go visit the same beach i spent the day at (alone) when i turned 40. that was a good day--it somewhat deteriorated after leaving the beach but that was the night-it was a great day.

tomorrow will be great too. Roma is tagging along and i'm looking forward to swimming. just got to get through today-shouldn't be too bad. the morning has been top-drawer so far.

listening to Pablo Cruise's "Love will find a way" on youtube

just being slow

A month or so ago DbR came home one night from some time away from the house and there was a big puddle on my laptop. The laptop had been in a seemingly safe place-on the dining room table, in the middle of the room. I looked around and saw that the dining room chairs were scattered about in such a way to provide access for the dogs to jump up-on top of the table and computer and if they really were the bad dogs I suspect they are, one (or both, I guess) could have peed on my computer. My suspicions were immediate and terrible.

It wasn't dog pee. Somehow some driving wind had accessed the side windows above the dining room and seeped through the ceiling tiles down onto....right onto my laptop. why? why there? there was no other rain damage in the entire room. just my pc laptop.

well, the laptop was kaputt. it smelled funny and wouldn't turn on ever again and although I have another, big, desktop computer which I often use upstairs, I still missed having a computer with me when I slog around in front of the tv, downstairs, in the husband's room, etc. I decided to buy a new one. When I told DbR of my decision, he stated that he had already planned on getting me a refurbished mac for my birthday which is approaching.

I got the lappy today and am using it presently and it's nice, really clean, etc. My first present has arrived! thanks.

Battle of the Lazy Dogs

WHO IS THE LAZIEST DOG OF THIS PRE=Tropical Storm Downpour SATURDAY?
Is it Pickles, the lagabout?
Or is it Peretz, the sleeparound?




Let's let the only one able to really decide, decide.
Harriet: Who Is The King Of Snooze City?



Who do you think she'll crown?



oh, kitty!

crafts and such

So, I started working on my new zine a week or more ago and I'm really enjoying the pace. I have until Sept 22 when I want them to be perfect and at this point I'm just perfecting. I have everything mostly in place, now I can just fuzt. It's nice.

Meanwhile, my friend Nancy suggested I put my zines in Etsy, which is also nice, that someone would encourage me to do that...I have my reservations, who wants to order a silly little per-zine from some stranger in Greenfield, MA? But, really, the bottom line is who cares if they sell? It's just kind of fun and nice to be in Etsy.


DbR and I went to the craft fair in northampton last night which was really great..there is so much there to want to purchase and look at...after realizing that the only jewelry there that I really wanted was over $100 I started to look at things which were more like $10 and that stuff was usually funny creatures people made. DbR bought us something like this. Super cute. There were $44 stuffed creatures, which of course I would love to possess. I can't get over the price, however. I have to spend that much on a bottle of absinthe for the upcoming festivities! I can't spend it on fluff at this juncture! David really loved a guy like this, with a long funny beard. hella cute.


meanwhile, thursday night, after going to the Franklin County Fair and riding the "Freak out!" I came home and found myself sleepwalking. First time ever. I wasn't looking for food either...weirdness

That Lucky Old Sun

yay! received mine today-will go listen! if i can open this packaging.
go, Brian!

shucka-bow wow

nine and some odd hours, almost 500 miles and back to the Bricker.
Nice being welcomed to home by dogs. I worry about them worrying when we aren't home for a stretch. I like coming home, not only because the welcome is entirely heartfelt and warm but also I am relieved to be relieving them of any worries regarding our eventual return.
Maybe that only makes sense to me. Oh well. tired and wouldn't say no to a vodka tonic. Settling for a crappy sierra nevada-no offense to whomever bought those however long ago and left them in the back of the fridge for me to drink tonight. Thanks for that.
September tomorrow. Always my favorite.

Husband Rotates Laundry, story at eleven

This weekend's been wack. Friday night I started my new zine which I will distribute as a party favor at our "reception". I'm pretty happy about PAWL BITT. Anyway, while eating pizza and doing a photoshoot simultaneously I broke the camera-argh. I did get a couple nice shots beforehand. Here's one:


Anyway, the breaking of the camera set off a raggedy chain of events which caused me and the husband to get uglydolls at each other and that put a major damper on things. Pickles didn't like it, the hostility. He had to cancel his piano lesson.


Bird was upset, too. Bird put a bug in our ear and we made up Saturday and proceeded to enjoy a busy day-first we went to Comp USA or some other comparable business and DbR generously replaced the broken camera. We also enjoyed some lovely lunch at SITAR restaurant in Springfield. DbR and I were discussing "politics"-I had heard an interview with Gore Vidal on Air America the night before which galvanized me-He had referred to the republican party as a MOB and although it is an obvious comparison hearing such an astute historian say so on the radio was a great relief.-while waiting for our mango lasses and nan and I looked out the window onto Main Street Springfield and there was some sort of protest parade going by! It was only for fifteen minutes or so until all the stragglers following the people with signs, etc were passed but it was funny because DbR was just bemoaning the rights which have been taken away from us U.S. citizens for the sake of "national security" (which Obama hasn't promised to give us back, by the way) and how it was hard to protest these days and there comes this parade. It was kind of nice. Although he did mean, protest the president's speech or something of that ilk, that type of protest.


That was interesting though. We came back to the Bricker and I took some more photos and enjoyed hanging around the house and snacking here and there on this and that. I started working on the captions with my alphabet stamps while watching the idiot box. We finally settled down to the first installation of The Lord Of The Rings. That nutty Frodo! What's he up to next, I wonder? And where are my 'levensies?


Today is going to be a major driving drag because I am picking up the Kid in New Haven (after his whirlwind Sonic Youth experience) and driving him to Woods Hole, dropping him off and coming back home. All that driving for ...three hours' kid time. groan. Sure, I'll take it, but I wish that if I'm driving for seven-eight hours I should end up with Kid at the Bricker. For a couple weeks. ah, well. I'm psyched for him. He took a flight with coco and went with her family to their rock show in Brooklyn and now here I go to fetch him. For more info, ask him. That's his story to tell.

Kid knows what he's doing back there.

art or yoga

I really love this woman's art:

Her name is Susie Ghahremani and her website is here. And sure, it's cutesy and some may not like but I do. Anyway, there is one painting she has that is $200. which I crave but on the other hand, I could take that $200 and buy 3 months of unlimited bikram yoga! I find it interesting that they are both the same sum but entirely different things to buy.
Money is funny.

I'm super smart and happy that I went to the Cape last weekend, not like everyone else in the world who is going there now.
I wish I was going to the Cape for more than a driveby-*sob*-that above sentence is all a lie! Of course I wish I were going to the Cape this weekend!
No way, the traffic is going to suck, tourists are going to be all uptight about the end of summer and having to get the Best ! Possible ! Weekend ! Ever ! no matter the damage left inside and out.

Ok, done venting. Will dress for Karaoke and Obamarama. Whee.

now i want now i want

poor judy garland. poor Judy.
Reading (one of) her biographies makes me want to spend 70$ at amazon on dvds.
good ol' warmhearted Judy.

dog tags gingerly jingle

Spend most the day away from the house, dragging husband to his first TRANSPERFORMANCE. bully for him.
dogs were very glad to see us get home. DbR had some cheery moments while walking the pups although intermittently complaining about his feet and tiredness. i got him singing a pop song, which is always a treat.
after transp. we ate a late dinner at the new Paradise City tavern. Really liked my burger au poivre. they have oysters there too and after quizzing our server relentlessly i ascertained they were wild from wellfleet! i declined but said i would be back in November to sample the same ilk.
almost feeling cuddly.

weekend

the weekend is over. i woke up worrying about bills. everything is too much. argh.
ok, breathe. wish i was back in gay head.

I wish I were still catching a wave or even just breaking up the clay on the beach which has already washed down off the cliff and intermingled with the sand laying around me and seeing the glitter flash in the sun.
But no, I'm in Greenfield with the dog looking at me like i'm nuts and assorted worries including a day at work i'm not in favor of. whee!

blippity blah blippity

went to dinner at the china snormet with DbR and then forced him to accompany me to Dirty Bills to early night karaoke 7-11 pm-for families! I sang Waterloo which was a fun time. He didn't sing up where everyone could enjoy but lucky for me he kept singing to me in my ear as in a private performance. Home now, trying to pack light for an overnight.

Pickles keeps me company, he is excited to go to the spa for the weekend.

wednesday

no bats last night. was able to sleep okay. was awoke by dogs barking and lovely man with coffee climbing the stairs to my room. later, hot air balloon over the Arch Street, which seemed queer but delightful.

saw a monarch as I drove to work. feeling a little coffee now, as I downed a cup right before coming into work.

So what happened with the bats?

So...today is Tuesday. ON Sunday DbR said he saw a bat in his room but even though the dogs chased it it was able to hide behind the big shelves. Lets call this bat Mr.S, for Shelf. So on Monday after going to a nice bday party at a neighbor's we come home and get a bowl and the Grease soundtrack album and try to catch Mr.S. He stays behind the shelves even though DbR pokes at him. I say lets give up, he's bound to come out. Reluctantly DbR stops poking.

Later I go upstairs to bed leaving DbR and dogs and presumably, Mr.S. I sleep, awakening around 2 or so to loud Pickles barking. I stay in bed hoping he stops or is stopped. Neither happens. I go downstairs and DbR's bedroom door is open and I thought that Mr.S escaped downstairs where he is now being chased. Peretz runs downstairs when he hears me in the hall-I guess he was letting Pickles do the heavy lifting-and both dogs-cacophony-bark bark bark. oy. I realize there is no end in sight and I peek down toward the living room and I see/hear dogs running around in the dark room and I occasionally see bat darting about as well. Times goes tiringly on and on! and I come to grips with the fact that I am going to have to separate Pickles from his prey because he is never going to catch it and it's just too loud. But I lag with reluctance to enter the fray. Time moves. Finally...

Enter it I do, with a towel on my head and as I go into the kitchen to grab dog I feel the thing fly into me but I ignore the sensation and chase Pickles. Mr.S goes upstairs. Pickles follows. I do too. We continue up into my 3rd floor hallway. I had closed my bedroom door to keep it bat free and I open it up a little to put a bowl of water in there because I realize when I finally catch my dog and we are stuck in my room he is going to be totally out of breath and thirsty. As I start to open my door to do so I look up from under my shroud and see the bat go for it-diving into my room. I shut my door hurriedly. The bat hits the door, falls to the floor. Pickles grabs Mr. S in his mouth and dashes downstairs to landing outside bathroom. By the time I get the thing off my head I see the corpse lying on the floor at the bottom of my 3rd floor stairway and Pickles lying next to it, proudly having a heartattack.

I accept that bat situation is dispensed with and leaving dog and water bowl in the hall, leaving bedroom doors open and breezy, as is my wont, I go to bed. Soon I awake to barking-again, yes. I go down to the first floor after putting the dead bat in a plastic bag on my way by and I don't see a bat (I may not have looked terribly closely into the dark living room) but I see dog chasing something and barking and standing still. I grab him, drag him upstairs and put him in DbR's room (who has slept through this entire scenario, presumably-he says he didn't get much sleep but he never did rise-), close the door and go to bed. An hour and a half later I am awakened by Pickles' very obvious bark. I hear it outside my window. It's a little after 4. What is Pickles doing outside? What a nightmare! I hear Peretz bark. I hear DbR express dismay. I realize I am hearing them out their window into mine. I feel delirious. I call DbR from my bed as I didn't want to again enter a batuation.
"What's happening?"
"You left me in here with the dogs and a bat."
"Pickles and I killed a bat! I thought it was the same bat and the coast was clear."
"Well, there is a bat in here."
"Are you okay?"
"Just annoyed you would lock the dogs in here with me and the bat."

I hang up at this with nothing to add. I go downstairs to his room and open the door. I somehow turn on the light after seeing bat and dogs moving around the room. I turn on the light even though there is a little grey morning break but its not enough to see and catch Pickles (the very loud one) by. I grab him while trying to avoid bat-ness and DbR's disapproving glance and pull dog to stairway. I think I heard DbR ask, "Aren't you going to help?" and I answer, "What do you want me to do?" Basically at this point I want to remove chaos and thunder from his room and I bring dog up to my room and close the door. I fall asleep fitfully listening to the dog pant.

Morning. I am blessed with a lovely husband who climbs the stairs to my room with a cup of coffee-oh shit, I don't have any 1/2 1/2 for tomorrow~!-and the report that the bat last night has again gone underground-or rather, presumably behind the shelving. I believe now that this must still be Mr.S. I express dismay and point out that on his clean shirt, donned that morning after his shower, there was some yukky junk that must have gotten on him during the dog walk he had just taken with Peretz. He went downstairs and soon called up to me, "The bat is dead, dogs evicerated it when it flew out from next to my laundry hamper!"
"Ok, good!" I called back. He took the two corpses outside to the garbage and we both had a grumpy day. We're better now-I want to buy lots of art/jewelry etc on etsy.com. No bats seen so far (fingers crushingly crossed).

Long Week

and a long week ahead, blah blah blah. I did a lot and am slated to continue to do stuff and I just want it all but also just want to sit in bed and read. I dread and anticipate happily simultaneously. Nothing mollifies or satisfies. Right now the edge seems omnipresent. Would like to remove nail polish from toes.

around the bricker

I was going to spend the day reading five books but I realized vacuuming, mopping, etc. must be done. So I do.

Pickles reminds me to look around at the plants, etc. around the Bricker and take a moment to enjoy.

I have been obsessed in my own little way about growing sensitive plants. Last year I planted an entire envelope of seeds and only was able to glean one plant which I fell in love with and took with me to Cape Cod when I went there for a week in September. It was nice to have the plant with me on vacation. I think the plant was so heartsick at leaving the seashore, it died of a heartbreak soon after coming back to Greenfield.
I found another envelope of seeds and have been growing them from soon after meeting David. I have two plants growing in a trough on the front porch, this one in the bathroom, the one above on the back porch...and I think that's all.


As ever, the gorgeous blooming of those morning glories continue.


This plant has been growing since last Spring, actually. I planted the seeds at the same time I planted the seeds of my money plant and the money plant is a biennial and has flowers/money growing on it now. So this plant grew all last summer, winter and until now. Where are the flowers? I can't remember the name of this plant but part of the name is a word that also means a certain purply-color and it is also the name of a jazz song by some famous black jazz player. Can you help me remember what it is? Maybe I'll look up "purple" in the thesaurus on dictionary .com and I'll get back to you..

just not gonna

comb my hair, dammit

blah blah blogger

No plans made with the kid ever go smoothly, I'm finding. He asked me to come to his gig on Saturday, I made plans to do so and now I'm told the gig is Friday. I make arrangements for him to come to the transperformance at Look Park. Now he's telling me he would rather spend the last week of summer with his girlfriend. I bought some tickets to the Radiohead show but in my effort to get good seats (not lawn seats) I bought two tickets which are not together. He seems grumpy about that. I guess he's not quite old enough to know, it's all about the music, not the person next to you. Well, I guess at many concerts it is about the person next to you, but Radiohead? Not this time. Sigh. Nothing seems right sometimes. Watch, my car will break down enroute.

Silly dogs! Weights are for...

I went to a potluck where the foodies go to eat and it was pretty great. Two kinds of chicken, very good to me.

When we came home the dogs were glad and DbR asked, "What does Pickles have?(in his mouth)" and sure enough, Pickles was doing the four point parade and he did have something he was showing off but I didn't remember him having anything new and exciting to show (which is usually the case for such a display). He did pick up a bright red ball outside on the train tracks or wherever while we walked but I made him leave it outside. He couldn't have that.
He had the two pound pink weight that I keep around for no reason! He held the weight like you would expect and carried it around. It reminded me of a story Aaron once related-I think it was Aaron-about some people who made a weighted down vest for their dog so s/he wouldn't jump on visitors. I always loved that idea for Pickles.
But if he chooses weights for his own toys?! There's no hope for weight training that dog!

sunday night

feel full up but have to take more on.
I miss the kid after having an aborted trip to Woods Hole for pick up.
Feel a little lost.
So bad, good movie may be the ticket.

whoa

I just put issue 2 of my zine, PAWL BITT, totally to bed in less than six hours. During that time I also assembled some Q+A handouts. I'm a machine, yo.

eighth hour of the eighth day..

Dog puked and man napped.
Cramps desist and cease.
Maybe not ready for a beer
but a caesar salad

work work work-where's my donuts?

I pluralize donut on purpose even though the where has singular verbage. I want seventeen donuts but may only get one-if any. I have to rise from my desk in any case. But I shouldn't-I have enough paperwork to last me the whole weekend. Maybe I'll never go home! Actually, all I can think about is going home and working on assorted projects. sigh.

voicemail

If the lights are out and there is no one in the therapy room, do the fish in the tank still swim around, even though they are not being watched? The answer is yes.

Tried to, tried to, triiiiiiiiiiied.

So, I just tried to order some postcards to stick in with the invites to some party and all I want is some 4x6, printed full color on one side card stocky things and i had the biggest morass of ill on the staples.com. for their prices, i am willing to wiggle, i guess.

meanwhile, i am catching up on some people's blogs i haven't read in a while. i guess i could play faux scrabulous on the facebook, but i feel too lazy.

there's thunder right outside. i am on the third floor (my laptop got drizzled on in the dining room-remember that weather ghost?) so it's all about the office 'puter. with the window open behind me and humid weather lower than 78, i'm aright. smells like skunk, though. why?
thunder, thunder

my house is haunted

by weather. I'll tell you about it sometime.

three nights and counting

I can't get over how lovely these morning glories are with their stripey-stripedness. There are three this morning, each one bluer or whiter or just gorgeously different from the other. I'm happy about that. The zinnias are coming too, some have opened and some just look like they're getting ready and yay! summer flowers.

Meanwhile, the title of this blog refers to the absence of batty visitors. Since Saturday, when DbR put the fire alarm thing on the fire alarm holder in the ceiling of the third floor we've been bat free! Could they really have been coming down from that opening in the fire alarm mounting hardware? How bizarre. But not really as I have always look askance at that dark shadowy area. And now my life will be alarmed if there is a fire. oh joy.

My car is troubled and luckily there is someone here to help me find help for it. I feel overwhelmed with things I need to pay for, however, at this time. I don't really want to pay for a car mechanic. groan.

How delicious!

I did make the carrot cake and it kicks ass. Thanks to DbR for having a food processor with a carrot grating mechanism and Jen F for the recipe. it's good. As usual, while I was fussing in the kitchen, Pickles kept me great company. DbR joined us and starting making some lentil-bacon-herby salad thing which I will deign to eat while taking breaks from the cake.

I think we are going to a NH fair this afternoon. I'd better take a shower and wear my country best!

unless i am mistaken

there was no bat last night. what a relief! meanwhile, DbR and I figured out how to open the screen where Friday night's bat was still scrunched up and it seems to have freed itself. I wonder if it will survive. I also wonder if it will spread the word to other bats to leave this house alone-the humans engage in torture!

i have a hankering to make a cake but lack the serious commitment. I looked at some pictures of S's birthday and feel pretty sad I wasn't there. I actually could have gone, if someone had called me and invited me. I sure miss out on many moments of his life. It bums me out pretty hard. I supposed I would be more bummed out if I was still living on the island, Winter 2003, etc. Guess I'll make that cake now.

cleaning and to-do list

There was a bat last night. The funny part is that what I feared would happen, happened. I was walking down the narrow winding stairway from my bedroom on the 3rd floor to the bathroom on the 2nd floor and a bat came up into the stairway with me and feinted and darted at me. I yelped and covered my head and busted my way to the remove the thing from my scalp. Of course it wasn't there, it was over by the same hallway window the bats all congregate upon. All this commotion was not enough to wake/rouse my husband so I went and asked him if he would get up and help me deal with it. After muttering, "I was asleep." he rose but we didn't really do any dealing. We just closed the poor thing up between the window and the screen to die and put Pickles away so the barking would cease. I guess I could have just done that myself, but making the life and death decisions regarding other mammals seems to call for another's weigh in, I think. Anyway, I felt better about it than if I had just shut the thing up and told about it after the fact.

This morning. Bat is not dead but will not allow DbR to smush it into a container to take outside. It has burrowed into a corner of the screen in such a way that we find it impossible to release. oh, boy. I guess I should have sucked it up in the first place last night and poured the thing into the dogs' drinking bowl and carried it outside. Argh. I hate wrestling with wildlife and I hate guilty regrets.

In other news, a dead mouse is outside near the back porch and I should pluck my eyebrows.

Yay! Summer!

Legs up with a book and a drink

It was a long day. 93 percent was fun and great. It got to be a long trip, though, once we hit..north of 90 on 495. But we made it and the dogs survived being alone for ten hours and there was only one carcass found.

Here's to no more bats for a while. Must go lie in bed with book and drink. Nice work if you can get it..

August 1

whew. Last night was kind of quazy. When us 3 humans came home the kid came downstairs calling, "there are 2 dead bats up here in the hall" which was interesting because in the car DbR and I were telling him about the bat we experienced last weekend in the living room/kitchen. He was curious, asking about bats in general and strangely (or not so strangely?) the husband was full of facts and info about those flying mammals.

no mentions of chupacabras were made

so, then, to come home to 2 dead bats!? Funny. DbR picked up the carcasses and I wiped away the moist leftovers and we proceeded with our night time doings. An hour or so later, while I was in bed listening to the kid play some Radiohead on my computer in the adjacent office, the kid said, "there's a bat! there's a bat!" For some reason I hadn't turned off my light but I had closed my eyes. I opened my eyes and sure enough, saw a bat with yellow tipping flying around the entrance of my bedroom. Yellow tipping-I can't elaborate on this but there were yellow feet? Yellow markings? I'm not sure because I dove under my blanket and chaos ensued for another two hours with the dogs barking and the bat hiding somewhere. The kid went to bed, closing his door. I did the same but the incessant barking (Pickles, not Peretz) was too much to bear. I descended to the hallway outside the bathroom and could see the bat was curled up and poised on the hallway window's upper screen with both dogs below, looking up, bark bark bark. I grabbed Pickles and closed him up in DbR's room, thinking that without the bat in front of him he would stop barking. I was right. Peretz I let wander about the house and he stayed quiet but at one point I heard him whine outside my bedroom door and a flutter flutter of (bat) wings against the door. I expected to find a carcass out side the room this morning.

But I didn't. I haven't found third carcass yet. I tiptoe about.

afternote: I just went upstairs to ask the kid to get up and help me walk the dogs and I jokingly asked him, "Any bats in here?" and he asked, "Did you check my room?" (for those confused with this let me just explain that the Kid is sleeping in the baby room because the bedroom which is his actual room is too hot, on the third floor where the baby room on the 2nd floor is cooler). When he said that I remembered that last night when the yellow tipped bat was flying around the computer room where he was outside my bedroom he saw it fly into his room (adjacent to where he was) and he closed the door, seemingly closing the yellow tipped bat inside. Well, we just went upstairs and looked around that closed up room and no carcass, no bat. I called Pickles up and said, "Go get it! Get the bat!" and he came up empty. Did this yellow tipped bat get out of the room? Was it the one on the window downstairs or was that a 4th bat and the 3rd bat, Yellow Tip, get out of the bedroom somehow?

The bat mystery continues.

Last Day In July

I've never grown such arty morning glories. These are truly lovely. I tried to impress upon my son and my husband how lovely and wonderful they were and I got lackluster agreement.

wish someone would hire me

to be their best friend. I'll do laundry, too, if the price is right.

worried worried worried

left out too.
Pickles does not have mange but midge. Cute guy.

sunny sunny sunny

It's a pretty nice Friday. My mouth still has an ouchie and now I'm not sure it is tooth-related. In other matters, I had my first pedicure today. It was nice. I really liked the foot massage. I'd rather have 89% massage, 11% trim as my pedicure. I don't need the "dressing" just the shaping and rubbing.

Dogs are hanging around watching us as we snack and watch x-files. They want a walk as well as a snickerdoodle.

rain rain rain rain

The rain is coming down a little bit sideways. My tooth hurts-I haven't been to a dentist in over ten years or more. I guess I have to start a relationship with one. What if they tell me I need a root canal? I don't really want to get one. It's raining really hard. I don't ever want to leave the house. The dogs are lying around with me in the living room. I'm the only one watching the Sandra Bullock movie. I guess I better call the dentist.

eh

feeling kind of melancholy tonight. dogs surrounding and shopping on line doesn't help. even the right decisions in life sometimes ache a little bit. maybe i'm too sensitive. will go upstairs and ...something. not going to northampton as planned. seems too far away.

I do have a heckling proclivity

And I was able to indulge tonight.
I hate crowds and yammering for a seat. Hate it. That's why I didn't mention earlier that I was going to go see John Hodgman perform at the Rendezvous in Turners Falls. I don't want to fight a crowd.

Before we went over to T.F., I sat out on our back porch with DbR after showering and changing into a favorite outfit: my current favorite shirt (man's white button down with collar and cool brownish markings), taylored brown patterned work pants and black doc martin sandals, while he smoked and the dogs avoided the rain. He made jokes and mocked Brian Wilson (lovingly, I'm sure) until I said, "Let's go" at 6:10 (Hodgman was to start at 8). DbR relented and we drove over and got our table in the front. He ordered nachos, I got chicken wings which we enjoyed with Lagunitas beer. We watched the place fill up with locals and then DbR told me, "John Hodgman is arrived" and I turned to look and sure enough, the local celeb walked in in shorts and sneakers and his cool glasses and nice hair and just made his way to the front where his chair and desk awaited. He didn't hide or act shy, just joined the crowd, helped do the soundcheck and schmoozed with Jamie, the owner, and it was nice. I saw an opening and went over to him, described myself from my fan emails, etc and asked him to sign his book for me. He said he was going to leave autographing to the end but would sign my The Alamo book which I had with me and had also hoped to get him to autograph. He did this thing where he crossed out the actual author on the title page and wrote in his own, which I found amusing. He then made an announcement to the effect that he would sign books at the end but would do this for me as a special favor so I gestured grandly with his book and sure enough, he signed the thing.

I took some photos of him with Edgar and Jackie and he called them up front to be on the desk with him which was kind of cool. He made the obvious joke that they were lovers which I approve of, of course.

Then he continued reading his material including a long thing about Molemen, the new, or old, hobos, and he asked a guy in the crowd to read questions about the Molemen (which he had prepared) to him and asked for a chair for the guy-as I was closest (and most obnoxious)-he asked for mine. I gladly gave it and kneeled until it hurt at which time DbR let me sit on his lap. That was nice too.

Later I gave JH a copy of my latest zine which he actually acted pleased to receive, which was also very nice. I liked the whole evening very much and am planning to go again next week. I love the PC guy.

easily stressed out

I planted a bunch of zinnias this year and did I mention? someone took the small portable fence I had stuck up around the patch to keep it "safe". It's odd someone would steal such a thing. But the plants have remained and today the very first zinnia bloomed. I immediately picked it and brought it to work. It's on my desk now. I'm looking at it. It's very nice.

I'm pretty excited about tonight. I'm nervous too. What if the place is too crowded and I'm told to leave? I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Should I get him to sign his book? Are autographs gauche?

In other news, the auditors are here.

Hot and Hazy

I'm not worried about the same things as I was when I wrote the last post. Anyway! This weekend has been pretty intensely active. So hot. Friday night I tried to go to sleep early but didn't actually make it. Nonetheless, I was able to get my ass out of bed on Saturday before six thirty am and we walked the dogs and etc and were picking up Karen by seven thirty. DbR was a total champ and drove us to Gloucester to the extremely crowded and busy beach, Good harbor Beach. It was intense. There was traffic up the road for a quarter of a mile and we sat in it for more than a half hour and I was so stressed, worried we wouldn't get parking and would be turned away and have to come up with a plan B, which I shamefully did not have. It was still before 10:30 am and it was so wall to wall! There was people all over the beach and more and more people arrived after we did and it became interesting after 12 because the tide came up the beach and people all had to move up toward the dunes and we all got a little closer to each other. The beach is big and lovely and the waves were perfectly rolling and not scary to me but I guess Karen was a little nervous. There were big waves, caused by tropical storm Christobal which was churning around down by South Carolina, enjoyed by all the Massachusetts swimmers.

It was hot. At one point Karen and I were hanging comfortably up on the sand waiting for DbR to return from the snack shop. After twenty minutes we were uncomfortable and radiating heat and wondering, why doesn't he come back? It had become a bummer because we wanted to go cool off in the water but didn't want to leave him to find an empty blanket. He did come back soon, telling us that it took a while for the snack shop to achieve the lovely sweet potato fries. We ate and drank water and then rushed off to the water. He stayed out to digest but joined us soon after. The water was so lovely and bright and the bottom was sandy and clean and the waves, perfect toys.

Surprising

I thought that when I fell in love and got married, I wouldn't worry about things ever again. What a silly fantasy. Lately I've been waking up around dawn and would toss and turn, beset with trepidation. It's tiring and depressing.

There are some pretty loud birds this morning, hanging around the neighborhood. I don't find them restful.

thinking about getting dressed

and going over to karaoke at the rendezvous. trying not to be too depressed about work. la la la.
i had a pretty nice Sunday.

talk about revulsion!

this old house needs a lot of work-and some of that work just entails crappy hard work-cleaning, rearranging. today i did some gardening and weeding-the husband is planning on some time with the weedwacker, oh joy. i have been rewarded with 1 morning glory flower and 1 1/2 marigolds. meanwhile, the basement is a hell hole and i have planned to replace the windows down there sometime this month. meanwhile, today, i guess i'll try to remove a layer of musty dusty linty crap. every little bit hurts, i mean counts.

calm the revulsion

In the ladies at work there are 2 stalls. one has a functional, locking handle. the other has a handle that has all the mechanisms needed to function as a lock but lets one down again and again. if someone opens the outer door of the bathroom, the lock fails and the stall door swings open. if someone opens the other stall door, this stall door swings open. if someone "forgets" to wash one's hands after using the toilet, the stall door swings open. i generally avoid the broken stall door stall but today when i peeked into the preferred stall i saw something distasteful on the toilet seat so opted for the broken stall door stall. of course someone tried to come into my stall but i was ready with my hand up to prevent the intrusion.

During my time there the person who tried to join me in my stall talked to another person who was washing hands, etc. the other person has an energy about her that makes me as nervous as a tampon. as nervous as the tampon itself as it awaits its destiny and as nervous as the person who is about to use the tampon. Sure, i know many people aren't skittish about using a tampon but sometimes...anyway, this person's energy is always strident, always fake, always unnatural, forced and it really makes me...wince. when i thought about these two women sitting on the questionably adorned toilet seat, i winced again. then i assuaged myself with the thought that i have sat in much much worse, probably, in places like Fenway or some public beach bathroom after a sunny, well-trodden day. this soothed my sense of revulsion.

sometimes I want to bust shit up

I have been grooming a crop of zinnias from seed since the last frost. I am really happy, excited and anxious about the little guys as they sunbathe and roast in my front patch.

Today I went to big Y to buy a bagel and out front were a bunch of planter with zinnias in full bloom. I could buy, for $6, a planter with 5-6 zinnia plants in full bloom. Of course I was tempted. I really love zinnias. But I didn't buy-I have some growing, in my yard, from seed!

When I came out of the store with my purchase there was some old lady-with a wig or bad fake blond hair- with 4 or 5 of the planters full of blooming zinnias in her arms, ready to buy and take away to enjoy. And for some reason, I really hated that lady. It's unreasonable, I know. I could buy those zinnias, if I wanted to-but something about her buying so many and walking away with the flowers really set me to seething.

bye bye long weekend

I gotta go back to work tomorrow, waah. I like my job, sure, I just like hanging around the house with the husband and our dogs much better. This weekend we saw Wall-E, Get Smart and Hancock. I really liked Hancock very much. I found it entertaining and Will Smith's character believable.

Meanwhile, I just feel like doing very little. Maybe I'll sew this button on my shorts. Last night there was an impromptu singstar fest at the H+O and I sang Hey Ya. It was fun.

dirty messy, pathetic

I look around the mess which is my home and I desperately want it to be tidy and clean. Then I sigh and take a nap. Whoop whoop!

another day in paradise

so the lone sea otter found a mate. It's funny that I married this guy before we even went swimming together! what if he's a total jerk or dork or loser in the waves? that would suck, right? We have swum once since the ceremony-at Echo Lake on Mt. Dessert Island. He gave me 3 boosts, which were pretty good. The first one was the best one.

We just watched Pat and Mike, that old b+w movie with Kate and Tracy. It was nice. I want to watch more old movies as opposed to this thing on tv right now: the revenge of some sith or something. Samuel is so great, though.